caffeinated dreams

oh holidays.

2009-12-28T09:33:00.002+08:00

lights. gifts. food. drinks. love.
WHAT COULD BE GREATER THAN CHRISTMAS?

i'm a survivor

2009-12-17T21:44:00.002+08:00

at long, long, long last. thesis defense is over. the world welcomes me again. i have resurrected. it's like i had been an outcast for 1 whole semester and now, it's time to shave that ugly grown facial hair and dress from the rugged, smelly clothes to what i was before. yipee. i'm proud to say i'm back and i am socially healthy once more.

and because of that, tonight is alcohol time. it's what stubborn teens do, right? celebration means you have to drink and be drunk and be brought home by your friends because you are already crawling your way out of the drinking place. well, i'm not like that. but i guess i just want to have fun and laugh out all those stressful moments and bad days.

goodbye friends, it's time to have fun before i forget what that word means. happy thursday night :)

a special letter

2009-12-12T23:01:00.003+08:00

Dear Santa,

The birth of our Lord is nearly coming! In a few days time, it is already the moment for you to deliver your little presents to little eager, excited children. I know this is kinda late and probably your elves would curse me because maybe there is no time anymore to wrap my gift. But don't worry, my list is not that long. All i want for Christmas is uh... it's funny but... fine. I wish you can place a plastic of I-would-be-nice powder in my stockings hanging in our Christmas tree at home.

I badly need it because our thesis defense is like 3 days away. I plan to sprinkle some of that powder in our panel members' food so that they can feel the spirit of the yuletide season. By that, they would not give us major, crappy revisions. Our panel chair is one of the terrorists of our college and we are really anxious already.

Well, I know this is too much for me to ask but I hope you can give it earlier. Sorry Santa but I am proudly admitting that I am a desperate little child with thesis-inflicted-eye-bags. Thanks in advance. You're the greatest! :)

P.S. Sorry for the stockings, don't be surprised of the smell. I used it the other day when I had my 30-minute treadmill.

testosterone boys

2009-12-10T18:52:00.003+08:00

are guys really unpredictable?

i guess this is one of the hardest question one would ever ask me. i could readily answer "yes, they are effing unpredictable!" but the hard part is why? seriously... WHY?! i don't get it why men act like a child having tantrums over a lollipop sometimes.

guys are fun to be with but then one second later they curse gazillion times and just get agitated like a rabid dog. i know, what an exaggerated comparison but it's 89% true. some guys shout "f*ck the world!" without reason. yeah, one of my guy friends is like that. but i still love him like my own brother. and it's just a minor thing of being unpredictable.

what's bloody confusing is how guys fall in love. the song says boys do fall in love. yeah right. funny. one day they're sweet, the second they're who-are-you-i-do-not-know-you-so-go-away. agh! i hate it. hey, i'm not bitter about love but it just confuses me so much. what am i supposed to do?

boys would always be boys and only them understands each other. yes, like a monkey understands a fellow monkey. period.

this whole vampire thing.

2009-11-26T23:27:00.003+08:00

twilight sucked big time. it was boring and i really hated it. BIG BLOODY TIME! so when my friends asked me that we should see new moon together, i was like "i'd rather sleep than watch that boring movie!" but i was helpless, they kidnapped me and confined me inside that cold, dark movie house. i felt like crying.

well, THAT WAS BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTED. i just cannot wipe the smile away from my face when we exited the movie house. i can shout 'awwww, sweet' one thousand times after the film. and would you believe that it's not because of taylor laughtner's mouth-watering body but edward cullen's pale corpse- like look? edward is heart- melting. his sweet, deep, shakespeare-ish lines just gave me tachycradia. and when he said "marry me"? oh, you just would not believe how i giggled so loud that i can almost see people glaring at me like hungry tigers because i was such a loud- mouthed little girl.

yeah right. now i cannot admit that i'm already a member of i-love-edward-cullen club that i used to condemn.

hibernated

2009-10-26T17:18:00.002+08:00

okay, welcome back to me. after a long, long time i am finally here. just got back from my one-week- minus-two-days sembreak. and i say, it is has been very fruitful. i slept like a hibernating polar bear. haha. right, very fruitful indeed.

i have been thinking... and guess what? it's all about love people, L-O-V-E! that butterflies-in-the-stomach thing. dr. seuss says "you know you're in love when you cannot sleep at night because reality is finally better than your dreams." and now reality is finally better than my dreams. does this mean i'm in love? if the answer is yes then i won't accept is. i am so not going to be.

i don't want to see myself smiling while texting. i don't wanna feel all so happy when someone says good morning. i don't want to doodle a name of whoever next to mine. i never want someone to hold my hand.

oh shit, and now i wanna curse myself for half- wishing all of those things are happening. i apologize... i know these are all so nonsense. love has very bad side effects. BOOM!

so damn good.

2009-10-03T23:35:00.008+08:00

how does it feel to help the homeless by just putting things in a plastic bag? INCREDIBLE!!! like eating free oreo cheesecake :)

ondoy oy!

2009-09-28T11:36:00.004+08:00

ondoy left us all devastated. great, just great.
lend a hand. yes, many people needs you more than you'll ever know.

up above

2009-09-22T20:35:00.005+08:00

tatay just passed away. and now, lolo did.

it is very painful to know that in less than a month, both of my grandfathers passed away. how could my heart break again if it isn't even whole to start with? i've just recovered and now i'm back to the first phase of the five stages of grief.

i say, spend your time with your loved ones as much as you can. tell them you love them before it is too late. make good memories and laugh hard. say sorry for all the things you never meant to do unto them... because our lives don't belong to anyone but God.

when i look at the heavens, i can almost see both my grandfathers happy, free of pain and finally at peace.
Tatay and Lolo, I love both of you very much... FOREVER AND ALWAYS.

boiling point

2009-09-16T20:56:00.002+08:00

have you ever felt so little that you can almost befriend the ants? have you ever experienced being snobbed after being all so nice? have you ever smiled like a dog just to please a person? have you ever met a poker faced creature? have you ever spent 8 hours with a person like that? have you ever felt like sticking a syringe needle to her face because she is just so mean and morose? have you ever reached your boiling point?

if i would be asked those questions i would answer a big freaking YES! yes, i did. and i am so agitated. why are there people who just don't know how to be nice? grr. like she is carrying the whole world in her shoulders. i just wanna give her a tutorial CD of 'how to be nice to other people and how to smile at them because they are so helpful and how to be a good example to the younger ones and how to be humble for dummies.' oh, i can still feel the annoyance.

excuse me, i have to do deep breathing or else i don't know what will happen next.

refrigerated pasta

2009-09-15T17:50:00.006+08:00

i was too lazy to get out of bed. i just feel so tired. yes, absolutely tired. i even had no energy to cook my self a decent breakfast. i raided our refrigerator and all i saw were leftovers. the spaghetti caught my attention and remembered that i was the one who cooked it last night. yes, cold spaghetti had to be a perfect breakfast. and i don't have the energy to heat it in the microwave either so i just went straight to the kitchen counter. as i was masticating my red refrigerated pasta, i just cannot stop remembering what a relative of one of our patients told me. she knows how to use tarot cards so she had this free session with us.

she said i have a mission in this world. like i can be a faith healer or mind reader or something. riggggghhhht. maybe i'm like peter petrelli or spiderman or buttercup. i'm in doubt of course. i have 10% belief on what she said but the other 90% is still in what-the-hell state.

but imagine that, right? i wonder how it feels to be one. maybe you have this great responsibility, as spiderman says. i will have to design my costume too, i say. but i would never be the popular hero, though. i'd be the friendly mysterious hero. like bob ong's kapitan sino. and hey, i need side kicks. one who can do all kinds of kicks and punches. ha-ha- ha! riggghhhhttt. it is so funny.

would you believe that this hero thing is actually on my mind the whole day? damn, cold spaghetti has bad side effects. don't ever try it. yeah, true.

recovered

2009-09-10T11:36:00.003+08:00

we did CPR, we administered the meds, we did our best but she died. her husband was crying and saying words of goodbye and i can't help but to cry too so i left the room.

i still remember my grandfather. this is the reason why i haven't blogged ever since he left. i just cannot write anything. i still feel pain and it seems that i cannot tell stories about happy things. now i know how to lose someone. i remember that i was one of the strongest in our duty group. i don't cry when a patient dies. but now it is different. when i see a patient struggle i become deeply saddened. and yesterday, when we lost the lady even after all we did to revive her, i almost broke down. i now feel what a person feels when someone you love goes back to the arms of God.

but when i woke up this morning, i had a different feeling. my grandpop is on my mind. while i was doing the household chores i remember him and the things he usually tells us. my lolo knows me as a happy and jolly person and he always tells me back then that i should always smile. so because of that... i think i should be back to my old, happy self. he will get angry for sure if he sees me still sad and hurt.

i know, we will all die. and i will see him again soon, that's for sure. he wants me to be happy, i just feel it. i mean, not happy because he is gone but happy because he is now at peace.

so here i am, proudly saying that i am A- okay again. i'm back to my old crappy self. yipee :)

para kay tatay

2009-08-29T19:43:00.003+08:00

'mag-ingat ka sa pagluwas!', 'magminandal ka muna.', 'ano ang balita?'... ito ang karaniwan mong maririnig mula sa labi ng aking lolo. hindi ko na maririnig pang muli ang mga salitang iyon. lagi siya doon sa may kusina, nakasilip sa bintana, nag-iisip, pinapanood ang bawat sasakyang dumadaan sa kanilang bahay. hindi ko na muli pa siya makikita sa kanyang upuan. hindi ko na muli pa siya masasabayan sa pagkain ng instant noodles. hindi ko na siya maipagluluto pa muli ng kanyang paboritong spaghetti. hindi ko na siya maririnig mangulit na kunin ang kanyang blood pressure. hindi ko na muli pa siya makikita... ang aking lolo, siya ay nasa langit na.

napakasakit. hindi ako makapaniwala. habang nagwawala ako sa taxi nang matanggap ko ang tawag ng aking pinsan, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. hindi ko matanggap na wala na ang pinakamamahal kong lolo. napakasakit isipin na may oras akong alagaan ang mga pasyente ko sa ospital tuwing nagduduty ako, pero hindi ko man lang naalagaan ang aking lolo sa kanyang huling mga sandali. hindi ko man lang siya nakapiling.

siguro nga, lahat tayo ay dumadating sa ganong pagkakataon. kaya ngayon, kahit napakasakit para sa aming lahat, iniisip na lang namin na mapayapa na ang aming tatay sa piling ng Diyos. hinihingi ko po ang inyong mga panalangin para sa aming tatay. maraming salamat po.

Tatay, mamimiss po namin kayo. Gusto ko po na malaman n'yo na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal po namin kayo at kayo po ay manantili sa aming mga puso.

blogless

2009-08-25T19:18:00.001+08:00

i am not a vocal person. i actually fail during oral recitations because i cannot express the things processed in the three parts of my brain. as i always say, i can write but i cannot speak. i have this mannerism of stuttering and saying ahh's and uhmm's a gazillion times before actually delivering what i wanted to say. i am the president of our class and i still need a spokesperson to meet my 42 poker- faced, big- mouthed, hard- headed classmates. i hate the fact that i am a total loser in speaking. it is one of the skills a good nurse must have and unluckily, i don't have it.

and now, i think i am losing my ability to express my thoughts through writing. lately, i have been very eager to blog but i cannot blog anything. my brain says 'type' but my hand says 'i don't want to, dammit!'. so now, because i cannot really tell you anything sensible, i will just share this really creative video from a british teen named charlie. i think i'm starting to like his videos. he is just so cool.

nineteen

2009-08-12T11:21:00.009+08:00

i just turned 19... well, one week ago. haha! and because of that i came up with my 19 resolutions. and one of those, never mind the others, is to be a better citizen of our country. i finally decided to register myself as a voter whenever i have the free time. it suddenly hit me, like a comet from the neighboring universe- one vote really counts alot, right?

politics was the topic of our conversation a while ago. because the operating room was so benign, we just talked about things as such. we had a good time talking about stupid, corrupt, evil politicians who don't know anything but to pocket the money of taxpayers. and we just find the idea of celebrities who run as mayor, governor, congressman or counselor stupid. they don't know anything about running a country. when will they stop? maybe a school exclusive for celebrity aspirants is a fabulous idea. they must take courses like theology so they can can fully understand the meaning of 7 cardinal sins, economics so they can actually do something good if ever they win, and a subject like i- will- be- a- true- leader- because- i- love- my- country- and- its- citizens. well, i am not a total stereotyper. i don't say that all politicians are evil. i know that SOME have true and sincere intentions. and i applaud them for that. i appreciate their effort to do good while the others do evil things secretly. yeah right, as if people don't know their dirty deeds.

many are called but few are chosen... let us choose the best of the bests. do you want change? i'm nineteen and i want change! let us vote wisely, okay? this is not an ad of AKO MISMO or whatever. i just want a decent work after graduation. yes, that's it.

yeah dude!

2009-08-04T17:55:00.002+08:00

one of my guy friends felt that nature was calling him so he asked me if he can do number 2 in our unit. i said yes 'cause i felt he really needed to do the thing. my other guy friend came with us. and moments after, another two testosteroned humans came.

it felt weird hanging out with the guys. i mean, being alone with four crazy guys in a room. it is not like we did something really crazy but it was, i must say, funny. i proved that guys really talk like that. 'ganda ng chick na to oh!', 'f*ck, ang galing ng move na yun ah', 'ano bago sa uaap?' and blah blah blah. i've been with them for the longest time but it was only today that i realized how different it is to hang out with the guys. they eat like monsters, they really dig hot women, they giggle on a manly way, they laugh and talk with their mouths full. but after all the boyish, disgusting, extraordinary stuffs, serious matters were still there. boys talk about love. boys believe that they still need the feeling of being loved.

for two and a half hours, i was just staring and observing them- how they talk about girls, how they cheer for their B-ball team, how they eat one pack of hotdogs in two minutes, how they forgot that i am with them in my own unit. boys... they are really funny :)

the lady in yellow

2009-08-03T11:52:00.003+08:00

I was still nothing when the EDSA revolution happened but my mom's stories tell me that this one woman had been a real icon of democracy. She was our country's first lady president and had been one of the world's finest leaders. Courage, faith and true leadership are the things she will always be remembered for. President Cory Aquino, you will forever be in every Filipino's heart.

this is happiness.

2009-07-28T16:49:00.003+08:00

happiness. it is what i always want to feel. i just don't know exactly what it is. all i know is i feel happy when i read a comic book, when i eat french fries, when i doodle on a paper, when i look at the blue, blue sky, when i wake up on a sunny day, when i watch comedy films, when i had a satisfying sleep, when i see fireworks, when people crack jokes, when i shout at the top of my lungs, when i look at my family, when i pray at the church or chapel, when i see my crush, when i know i helped someone, when i give, when i forgive, when i topped a quiz, when my patient got better, when i received something.

and now i just feel it. the unexpected, unexplainable, great feeling. no duty tomorrow. OOOOOOOHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAH!

anxiety, oohhhh, anxiety!

2009-07-26T17:25:00.003+08:00

i just finished looking at the list of the new registered nurses of our nation. 32, 617 out of 77, 901 passed. and now all i feel is severe anxiety! hwooh!

now i have the feeling of pressure. you see, people have this certain level of expectation that you must meet. and that 'people' are your PARENTS. the ones who worked very hard for every cent of your tuition fee. the ones who believe that you will make them proud. on the other hand, some people say "okay lang bumagsak sa una. god's will." but hey, would you ever allow that? 'course not, right?

i have nine short months! now is the time to be seriously serious. from now on, time is more precious than gold.

unhealthy living

2009-07-25T17:08:00.006+08:00

school was busy. many requirements to do. group meetings every after noon. barely have time to relax. or at least eat a decent food .i know how to cook. and i actually love to. but obviously, my schedule just won't allow me.

i've been a regular customer of KFC, mcdonald's and jollibee. oh yeah, july has been my fast food month. i know that too much fast food is bad. maybe the bad cholesterol in my body is already befriending my arteries so they can bind there forever and give me hypertension. and i don't want that. so since today is my free day, i decided to do the grocery and buy some healthy stuffs.

my grocery list:
- mixed vegetables
- oranges
- green leaves
- bananas
- yogurt
- milk
- wheat bread
- milk
- tofu
- fruit juice

things in my basket when i reached the counter:
- instant noodles
- canned meat sauce
- chocolate drink
- junk foods
- cookies
- 1 small pack of mixed veggies

talking about healthy living, eh? oh deymn, that is why i hate going to the grocery alone.

nothingness

2009-07-19T14:13:00.004+08:00

26 floors above the ground... i can see the whole of metro manila. the LRT, the PGH, the small establishments, the tall buildings of Makati, my school. it's sunday and everything's at peace. no rain. thank god!

i am interpreting and working on this lab works. oh i can't think of anything. i just want to stare out the window and just look at things. the things God gave us. the innovations of men. the LRT. oh how will everyone survive without it? the PGH. a big public hospital that caters to the most indigent people of our country. they have the best nurses and doctors. the only thing it lacks is better facilities. the small establishments and tall buildings... a thousand of them but when will our economy get better?

deymn. it's been 30 minutes and i still got a blank page. crap, i have to work. i need ice cream. i'll go down to buy ice cream then work. ice cream will get my brain working. eureka! it is the only thing i need.

rainy monday

2009-07-13T08:15:00.002+08:00

TOP TEN THINGS A COLLEGE STUDENT MUST DO WHEN THERE IS NO CLASSES ON A RAINY MONDAY.

1. upload pictures on all your accounts. your friends are killing you already.
2. watch a chick flick. happy endings can make you feel good.
3. eat popcorn while watching a chick flick. happy endings can make you feel good... and popcorn can make it even better.
4. do household chores. have you ever heard of 'CLEAN YOUR ROOM'?
5. text your friends and tell them you have no classes. it's just once in a while *evil laugh*
6. go to the mall and window shop. who knows? maybe it's rainy monday sale.
7. go to taekwondo training because you have finally decided not to quit.
8. finish the 10 remaining pages of your pocketbook that has been in your bedside table for 3 weeks already.
9. sleep like a hibernating polar bear. it's the only time you can get sleep.
10. make yourself a good lunch.

okay, obviously i have no classes. God is truly great. He gave me chance to relax a little bit. i can finally say oh yeah. gotta start doing activities on my list. ciao :)

oh men.

2009-07-12T11:51:00.006+08:00

IS IT OKAY FOR A GIRL TO ASK A GUY OUT? i was reading a magazine when i came across this question. and if would be asked to answer this, it is just a big, big I DO NOT KNOW.

knowing that our country has a very conservative culture, it is more than hard for a girl to ask a guy to have a date with her. most people, especially adults, just find it aggressive. and i just cannot imagine asking "hey, do you want to have dinner?" i don't know how guys do that. because when you ask that question, you will only get one answer and it is either "yeah, i would love to." or "sorry but i cannot because (insert a thousand of reasons here)" and the feeling is just happiness or depression. girls are known to have sensitive feelings, and yeah, i admit that. so maybe it would really break our hearts if a guy would turn us down after using all our pride and courage of asking him.

likewise, it is very hard to predict a guy. most girls do not know what are the guys' thoughts. i hope there are how-to-read-a-guy's-mind-when-you-finally-decided-to-be-aggressive-towards-him courses. if a guy said yes to a date does it mean he also like you or he is just good enough not to turn you down? if a guy says no does it mean he hates you or he is just to too shy that a girl asked him out?

now i realize how hard this is for the males. maybe we, women, cannot do it because we are simply not capable of containing the feeling of rejection. oh crap! sometimes i just wanna go to that someone and ask the one million question. but i can't. i just can't.

today...

2009-07-09T16:17:00.002+08:00

i am satisfied.
IT IS MY LUCKY DAY!
no oral recitation plus many experiences in the emergency room. woohoo.
GOD is oh so GOOD all the time :)

panda eyes

2009-07-08T16:27:00.004+08:00

one of my favorite movies is kungfu panda, when i find a person nice and cute, i call him/her a panda, i love eating hello panda. obviously, i like the creature but even though i really like them i still don't want to look like them. but hey, i'm already in the transformation phase. i can already see a dark circle on each of my eyes. and maybe, tomorrow when i wake up, i'm already a big, cuddly, fury black and white bear.

these past few days are busier than ever. i never imagined that senior life would be this oh-no-jam-packed-schedule. good thing i didn't collapse in the operating room when i scrubbed in. but yeah, my eyes were so droopy because it's such a cold, cozy place to sleep in. my mind was dreaming while my eyes were awake. end result? i was shouted at by the anesthesiologist because i handed her a clamp instead of a scissor. my ears failed me when they heard 'clamp' but the doctor actually said 'cut'. tsk, tsk.

it's really tiring to wake up at 3 30 am and sleep at 11 pm. 5 hours of sleep plus 8 hours of standing in the operating room plus school requirements? oh no, that's just like 80% superhuman, 20% student. but anyway, i'm already a senior. a senior's motto is 'never give up'... even if you already look like a panda in your graduation.

this is a future picture of me :)

go or not go?

2009-07-01T21:43:00.006+08:00

tae kwon do. it is one of the things i have learned to love. i remember joining our school's TKD team just because i want to be close to one of the members. i never really thought that it would be a part of me.

first, i am not an athletic person. i was actually denied by our college's basketball team. the coach says i am 'too weak'. yeah right. second, i hate hurting people. physically or mentally, i just hate it. third, i am a nursing student. i have mountains of requirements to do, many duty hours to complete and gazillion of responsibilities i must keep in mind.

actually, right at this very moment, i am thinking if i should leave the team. there are times that i just cannot handle the fatigue after two hours of kicking, shouting and sparring. but a bigger, bigger, bigger part of me says that i should not leave the team because it is where i made friends outside nursing. it is where i developed my perseverance and patience. it is where i release my stress by kicking hard and shouting loudly. it is where i found joy of the purest form.

i am really confused right now. should i go or should i stay? boy, oh boy. i hate making decisions. especially if you have to choose between two things.

lame sunday thoughts

2009-06-28T20:11:00.005+08:00

it has been a lazy sunday for me. i woke up to the voice of my mom telling me that i should bring my brother to the nearest hospital because she is afraid that my brother is already afflicted with AH1N1. i went out of bed trying to tell her that it is not because my brother was not exhibiting enough symptoms to be diagnosed with such. i ate breakfast. the usual koko krunch and milk i have been eating for already three weeks.

then while chewing on my oh-so-exciting breakfast, the cereal commercial popped suddenly into my mind. it made me smile- the thought of that crazy koala bear and never- growing kid accidentally spilling chocolate in a rice field. i think that is lame. really. after my breakfast, i bummed around the living room listening to my ipod's old school music. eraserheads. they are really cool. their double- meaning lyrics always make me think that things are just like that and just live your life in whatever way you want to. and simply listening to eli's 'pogi' voice gives me a nice feeling. for 3 hours, i just sat there, listening to OPM, fall out boy, some girl pop group, old school love songs and singapore metal.

we heared mass and we ate lunch. tofu. chinese food. it's crazy how filipino culture is influenced with the chinese's. and i was thinking... maybe, after a year or two, that chinese influence on us would be replaced by korean culture. i mean, koreans are everywhere. they are like mushrooms sprouting suddenly from nowhere. don't you think that's scary? filipinos looking all asianovela-ish and eating with chopsticks and smelling like kimchi? ha-ha-ha!

after lunch, i took a bath and went to the nearest salon to have a haircut. lucky, no people in line. the stylists were just busy laughing their heads off while watching pokwang and sam milby. one tall, blonde, gay stylist approached me and i told him/her/himher that i want a trim and bangs. after 10 short minutes, you'll never guess what i look like. that freak made my bangs look like it was cut by a grade 3 for fun. argh! i hate the thought that he was paying more attention to pokwang than me, his customer. i thought of grabbing the lame blonde hair of the stylist and shave it all off so he can look like a microphone. but i know i cannot do that so i just payed their fee and went out.

i went to the building's swimming pool. smelled some fresh air and realized how lame my sunday is. no, how lame my thoughts are. i should have better thoughts. don't you think?

the simple life

2009-06-27T15:47:00.005+08:00

i just finished my 6- day immersion last tuesday. oh, it was one of the most memorable duties of my life. the community people are hospitable, the kids are sweet, the nights will be spent with cricket sounds around, the aswangs and other supernatural creatures are there with you. there you have to really strive hard. fetch your own water, cook you own food, clean your own space.

kapag may tiyaga, may nilaga... true, true.

our humble abode :)

good morning, caritas viilage!

playtime with the caritas kids.

handwashing demonstration to the community

the cradle

2009-06-24T21:35:00.004+08:00

dorm sweet dorm- i will never forget that little message located above the television when you enter our school's residence hall. i am happy that i am not a dormer anymore. no more curfews that deprive me of having fun after a long tiring day. no more annoying sermons from the dorm managers. no more waiting at the bathroom when there's many people in line before you. no more loud- mouthed neighbors to disturb you when you have an impossibly long exam the day after. but together with leaving the dorm is the fact that there is no more roommates. no more fun nights. no more review sessions with your dormer classmates. no more eating meals with the girls you had your first night with away from home.

it has been three weeks and now i find myself missing the warm, welcoming place. i miss the nights when we have nothing to do but bum around and watch a scary movie with all the lights off and all of us in one bed eating unhealthy junk foods. i miss rainy days when classes are suspended and we just have to sleep til we cannot anymore and just wake up, order fastfood and just laugh, talk or bully each other. i miss shush-ing that neighboring room when we can almost write their biography because they talk really loud.

i admit that i really hate staying at the dorm because you have to comply with zillion rules and policies but what am i doing now? i am missing those silly things. i am missing our cradle (that was kinda dramatic but believe it or not we call our dorm 'the cradle') but whatever, what they say is true... you only realize one's worth when it's gone.

matured talks

2009-06-06T10:37:00.002+08:00

i love talking with my friends. talking with them has a special effect of making me happy even if i'm on my worst mood. i admit that most of the time, our conversations are mainly about nonsense things like who farted during the reporting that made the whole class chaotic, who's turn it is to pick where we would eat lunch, embarrassing, nerve- cracking moments of each and everyone, who won the NBA bet... because our clique has more boys than girls, it is somehow expected that our everyday lives would be more of fun and "boyish" stuffs.

it is the thing that i least expect- having serious talks with the boys- but lately, most of our conversations were more of the matured ones. i know you would find it rude but when one of my guy friends told me that he would continue his studies to be a surgeon, i just laughed at him. but after a couple of more texts, i realized that he is serious and that is why he has that special passion in the operating room. it made me feel like i won a thousand tickets in timezone. ha-ha! kidding. but it seriously made me happy because at last, the moment came. the moment when we realize what we really want to be other than being a rockstar or an NBA addict. and hey, i realized that even though we don't talk about petty things, it makes me happy knowing that we are getting matured and more adult-ish.

i guess sigmund freud's and erik erikson's stages of development are true after all :)

mom? this is creepy.

2009-06-03T12:00:00.007+08:00

time flies really fast. i was a freshman three years ago- three years that seemed like 3 hours- and now i am about to face the life of a senior. yikes, creepy. i'm dreading the days of thesis- making. i swear i never liked our research subject. i almost failed our intro to research course when i was a junior. yes, i hate it. i hate it more than a child hates eating green veggies. but i have no choice. i have to be good on it because this is like almost half of our grade.

as a senior, not only do i have to be good on research, but i have to be good on almost everything. it makes me feel really itsy- bitsy small when my clinical instructors tell me "oh, mgfo- fourth year ka na hindi mo pa alam yan?" agh! i hate that. sometimes i wanna tell them "mam, sir, i know that i'm already an incoming fourth year but that does not mean that you have to know everything about nursing." duh, they have to understand, right? like us, they were once students. likewise, i have to learn how to wake up to the crappy sound of my cellphone alarm. seriously, i have this disease of snoozing my alarm clock and waking up finding out that i only have 15 minutes left to prepare for duty. now that i would be living outside the school i have to be more patient and be an early bird. i have to be more studious, more patient, more prayerful and more, more, more.

i know that this is way, way more serious. this is my last year... last year to be better at school, do greater deeds and prove more things. may god bless me :)

scandal of all scandals

2009-05-29T19:15:00.006+08:00

everywhere i go people are talking about one person... or yeah, maybe two- hayden kho and katrina halili. students at the comfort room, gossipers at the LRT, guys at the street and even patients in the hospital. i don't know that their scandal is more worth-talking- about than four freaking cases of swine flu in our country.

there are gazillion of scandals being sold in the streets but i don't even know why this one is so special. so special that it costs 150 pesos per copy.VOYEURISM- a psych disorder in which a person derives sexual pleasure from looking at naked bodies or sexual acts of others. maybe the guy has the disorder so just get over it and move on with your life. don't waste your time watching showbiz news with never ending reports about the scandal or don't use your energy talking about it. just pray for them, will you?

home sweet home

2009-05-24T09:54:00.009+08:00

i've been sick for four days with on and off fever and a sore throat. AGAIN. and now, i have a reason to be paranoid because of the latest case of AH1N1 virus in our country. anyway, it was really hard to take care of myself especially in the dormitory where resources are not readily available. i became the paracatemol parasite to all my dorm mates. i had nothing to eat because no one will cook for me. well yeah, nothing to eat except for the all-fried breakfast food being served which are obviously not oh-so-yummy for a person with fever. at duty (yes, i still reported for duty) i had the worst heavy-head feeling. too bad for me we were assigned at the emergency room- where adrenaline is always up and everything is like a jungle.

thank god friday came and it was time to go home. ooooh... the sweet feeling of being in the warmth of your own bed when you are sick. home is indeed sweet home. you have your family to take care of you. there's mom to make sure everything is fine and you have the for-the-sick food, your siblings whom you can rely on when you cannot get out of bed, your television which you can consider your best buddy. so after a day, i got well and ready again for school.

ooooh, what feels better than being home?

i love you

2009-05-10T13:10:00.002+08:00

"when you look at your mother,
you are looking at the purest love you will ever know"
- chick benetto, mitch albom's FOR ONE MORE DAY

happy mother's day to all the mums out there...
to mom, thanks for all the love. i love you more than anything.

things are meant to happen

2009-05-09T13:25:00.005+08:00

mistakes are meant to happen. believe me.

taft survival challenge oy!

2009-05-08T21:09:00.004+08:00

it was 2 o' clock and we were about to leave the hospital when we decided to have a divisoria trip to buy some 'essential' things we need. we knew that there is a typhoon but the rain started to lighten up so we just shrugged it off and went anyway. we thought the rain would totally stop but when we were in the jeep already, it suddenly rained really hard. the 30-miunte ride to divisoria became 50 minutes because it was really o-frantic-traffic along taft ave. good news that there were less people in divi because of the rain. we shopped our head off then decided to go home. when we stepped out, we were shocked by the ankle- deep water in the street.

since we had no choice, we walked through yehey-baha street to ride the jeepney. when we reached taft avenue, it was unbelievably worse. the water is 6 inches higher than the water in divisoria. i was squirming like a pig while walking in the flood because it was my first time. and it was just disgusting because you can see how dirty the water is. what's more disgusting is you can feel that you feet are slimy under the water. like, what the hell? you are walking in a giant pool filled with dirt, litters and whatever you can spit or excrete in the streets. it was like a free foot spa because you can actually feel the particles. it was the ultimate survival challenge. i stayed inside the bathroom for almost 1 hour when i arrived the dorm. i am not a yuck-eww-kadiri person but it was just... eww.

moral of the story: don't be hard- headed and just stay at home or the dormitory if it is raining hard.

PRECAUTION

2009-05-02T21:15:00.006+08:00

here i am, googling more facts about swine flu. i am getting really paranoid because i've just learned its signs and symptoms that included fever, cough and sore throat. i think i have all of which. well, i was off from fever since yesterday but my tonsillitis (which also have a sore throat) is still persisting like hell. maybe i am just too paranoid. i am considering that the cause is the weather. these past few days were rain-or-shine or rain-and-shine. and i eat chocholates like i have some willy wonka ticket to find, another probable cause of this argh-y tonsillitis i have. but swine flu is all over the televison and the internet so i cannot help getting too nervous.

we should all be aware of the precautions. they say the the H1N1 virus may not survive here in our country since it is really hot here BUT it is also said that it can survive 2 hours without a host so it can go roadtripping all around for 120 minutes without us knowing. for us to be safe, proper handwashing is encouraged. it is the universal precaution. washing our hands with water is not enough. washing with soap or a disinfecatant is highly recommended. covering our mouths while coughing is also a must since the virus' mode of transmission is from person to person. secretions must be disposed off properly. i mean PROPERLY. do not spit in the streets, for pete's sake, ito ang isa sa pinakamalalang sakit ng mga pilipino. likewise, do not forget to take your vitamins. it can really help.

so there. as a student nurse it is my duty to give health teachings to everyone. as we always say PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE. be aware and do not get sick so you won't get paranoid like me. good night!

DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH says...

"the" earth day

2009-04-26T19:24:00.002+08:00

last april 22 was earth day- a day of heavy rain (really heavy rain), floods and many stranded people. my classmate joked "galit na si mother earth", and actually i was thinking it is true. mother earth is pissed off because we celebrate a day for her but we really are doing nothing.

we were on our way to duty when i saw how abused mother earth is. the floods were knee- deep in almost every corner of manila. i witnessed a world- record traffic. drivers were getting hot-headed while children were happily LOL-ing bigtime, enjoying their free swimming not realizing that they can get a planet of disease out of the dirty water. we passed the pasig river and i was extremely saddened and maddened by the look of it. it is like a floating dumpsite. i cannot understand why people have to throw their wastes on the river. i am sure, the inventor of garbage would be extremely disappointed because most Filipinos don't recognize the use of his great invention.

then most people have the guts to get mad because they cannot get a cab or they are stranded to death in a particular place or they have to cancel a date because of the rain. most of us don't realize that we get angry of our own faults. organizations, programs and projects are everywhere, seeking our cooperation and help but we are more interested in finishing a computer game, chilling out in a nice cafe or watching sh0wbiz news to get gossips.

"isang balat lang naman ng candy eh" is what we usually say. what if half of our country's population also said that and threw a candy wrapper the same time as you did? we have to wake up. banners, pictures, tv commercials are not enough if we don't give our hearts to it.

WAKE UP... nothing is too late.

first of summer

2009-04-17T14:53:00.003+08:00

one week down, 20 zillion weeks to go.

my first week of summer school is indescribable. we had two days off but i didn't feel the yehey-walang-pasok emotion. i don't know... maybe having summer classes during, well, summer is just a not-so-happy idea generally. why? because first, it is burning hot anywhere you go. actually i am half- dreaming that we have our orientation thingies inside a big refrigerator... while eating ice chips on bathing suit. second, i'm pressured to pressure myself to focus on school because 3/4 of my mind is thinking of fun, parties and getaways leaving only 1/4 for school. third, i so not want to wear 4 layers of clothing for duty because (see first reason). why o why does it have to be this way?

i hate it, i hate it, i hate it.

uhh...this is so weird but while i'm in the middle of typing another i hate it, i realized that it's for me and my patients so i don't have to complain. and besides, it's my last summer of being a student so yeah... i don't have to be a whiner and just wish myself a happy summer ahead.

why you have to use it.

2009-04-06T00:16:00.000+08:00

learn from it. ha-ha!

my summer wishlist

2009-04-05T12:58:00.008+08:00

it is summer and it is obviously hot. i am sticky and sweaty because the sun won't just stop radiating. the church this morning was full of people because it is palm sunday, it looked like it was the premiere night of harry potter, twilight and you changed my life all together. the church seemed like a huge sauna. after the mass, i have decided that i must really go somewhere else to satisfy my body's need of water.

last night, i was watching a show that featured all these popular beaches of our country and i cannot imagine how i envied all the people in those beaches and how i wished i was there too. i'm actually asking myself what am i doing wasting the precious time of my summer. i must have fun! summer is for fun.

beaches i hope to visit this summer (or this very moment if i can):

BORACAY. boracay is another meaning of summer when you look in the dictionary. haha! i've heard being there is sooo much fun but requires some large amount of money. nevertheless, i still hope (even though i know my mom would not allow me and would not give me money) i can visit this world- renowned place... THIS SUMMER.

SIARGAO. it seems like another yumyum place to be. i hope i can fly to surigao del norte even though it's hundreds of meters away from manila. they say that one of the highlights of the island is surfing since it has the reputable surfing break named Cloud 9 which is one of the top surfing waves in the world.

PAGUDPUD. it is called the haven in the north. well, the picture is telling me that it is really a, wow, haven. my cousins went there and they say that it is really a two thumbs up since the beach is not too crowded. what is amazing is that it is near taiwan already and you can see taiwanese fishermen and boats in the sea.

LAIYA. this is the most accessible, because it is only in batangas, so i am quite sure that if ever i will have the chance to go beach-ing, this is the place where i would be.... and now, i am actually thrilled to go there.

i hope i can go before the classes starts. but na-ah... it is holy week so having fun is really not my priority for now. anyway, happy beach-ing people. wherever you will go, just tell me about it when you come home! :)

when you are alone...

2009-03-31T19:14:00.004+08:00

- you would be insomniac. i have our bedroom all by myself and for two nights, i cannot sleep until 3 am! gawd! i am just used of sleeping with my siblings... hoohoohoo!

- you would be addicted to asianovelas. i cannot keep my eyes off the tv screen. kung pwede nga lang maligo sa harap ng tv, gagawin ko. ha-ha! i just cannot get over the sweet moments and scenes. such shows , i consider modern fairytales, yes.

- you would busy yourself with menu planning. since my momma is away and no one's gonna cook, i have to take the responsibility in the kitchen. i cannot ask the maid to cook cos she's busy with other household whatevers.

- you would find yourself visiting unusual websites. last night, i read things on wikipedia even if it is really not my hobby. i also visted manga university because i wanna learn how to draw the manga style. nagpapakadalubhasa... weird, right?

- you would have no other choice but do house chores. since i have just finished the asian romantic comedy i was watching, there is NADA to do but do good deeds and help in cleaning the house. cool? i don't know man.

hahaha! i don't know if this is worth blogging... I JUST HAVE NOTHING TO DO AND AM BORED TO DEATH!!!

boo-hoo-hoo for the summer

2009-03-29T18:17:00.004+08:00

yeah, it is happening again. my family would, for the third summer, leave me alone. boo-hoo-hoo! they will go to saudi arabia without me! but yes, i have to understand. we have our summer duty so i cannot go with them and since i don't wanna be selfish, i have to let them fly to the land where everybody is prohibited to eat pork and is required to pray six times a day.

i just miss arabia. it may not be a country full of beautiful sceneries and breathtaking places but being there just feels sooo... yeah, good life! it is a country where social life starts at night because when you go out with the sun still shining, you will feel like you're on a gigantic toaster. when you go out in the morning, malls are closed and most women are inside their apartments because they are not allowed to work (now, that's the good life i am talking about. ha-ha!). i miss mall-hopping every night. literally...mall- hopping because in almost every street of jeddah, saudi arabia there is a mall erected or is being erected. people there don't know how to save. believe me.when you enter a grocery, you can see families pushing three carts or more. well, it is reasonable though, because supplies there are cheap. i miss eating shawarma and arabic rice and chicken...

aww... maybe after 3 years of not having summer vacation in arabia, i miss everything about it and if i continue, this post will be an unending list of what i love about the holy land of the muslims.

now i realize, how sad it is to be here alone. to survive, i must have a prestigious plan of how to have a blasting summer. and since my sister is working, the rest is in saudi, me alone... maybe house party is a lovely idea *evil laugh* ciao!

aww, sad...

2009-03-26T22:29:00.001+08:00

wala pa ding nababawas sa movie list ko. huhu!

suddenly, unexpectedly

2009-03-26T21:56:00.006+08:00

vacation, vacation. no homeworks, projects or papers. it's like everyday is POET's day (Piss Off Early Tomorrow's Saturday). vacation life is all but a bum's dream.

since it's nothing-to-do time, i just sleep like a lazy dog and read like a genius on every single magazine in our home. yesterday, i was reading a back issue of reader's digest and i came across an article about love then suddenly, unexpectedly, i remembered my religion class. as in, "the" last religion class of my college life (yes, it must have the "the", because it's like something important. haha!) . our last rel ed subject was about marriage so we were talking about love and commitment and everything about relationships for the whole second semester. our last topic was 'what really is love?'. and up to now, i don't like the topic. why? because it's just unexplainable.

my professor gave us a hand-out that served as a guide. and on that hand-out, the author said that love is not a:

1. feeling
2. falling in love
3. myth
4. so on and so forth (others that are not mudane to our everyday life)

yeah, i accept the author's opinion about it. love is not blah- blah- blah because love is blah- blah. but, if love is not the ta-ta-ta as what he stated, what really is love? love is an abstract noun that can never be quantified or defined as whatever by whoever. love has different definiton for each and every person.

so what's my point? the topic 'what is love?' must be eliminated in every teacher's lesson plan. because it is just unexplainable. and it would just be an unending debate. i just have one sure thing about love- it is GOD and what He has for us.

hahaha! i'm so weird. i don't wanna think about school yet i'm blogging about it. maybe when you have nothing to do, you just remember about the things you are used to do... like school. LOL ^^

a surprise for someone. now, this is love... for us.

because i'm a loser

2009-03-22T18:28:00.003+08:00

back then, i was not really fond of watching movies so i was one of those freaking losers. it is only when i started college that i had the chance to go to movie houses whenever i wanted to and had the interest to watch HBO, star movies or cinemax. but then i still cannot relate whenever they talk about films... the ones during my elementary to high school days.

one lazy afternoon when we were having our duty at a health center, we started talking about the greatest films there is. they were like "oo, the best yang movie na yan!", "ang hot ng bida don.", "ang panget nung ending e.." and i was like "sino ba bida dun?", "about san yun?", "huh?!". my groupmates were really amazed that i have no idea of 95% of the movies we were talking about so they decided to make me a list. A list that contains the coolest/ greatest/ hottest/ most touching/ whatever-you-want-to-call-it movies i still haven't watched.

MOVIES I NEED TO WATCH BEFORE I DIE:
- Lord of the Rings trilogy
- Noting Hill
- Serendipity
- Gladiator
- Matrix Trilogy
- Any Rocky movie except 5
- Saving private ryan
- Dawn of the Dead
- Saw 1
- The Guardian
- E.T.
- Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny
- The Bachelor
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- V for Vendetta
- My Bestfriend's wedding
- Jerr McGuirre
- Closer
- Awake
- Dazed and Confused
- Sixteen Candles
- Never Back Down
- The Godfather
- American Gangster
- Deja Vu
- Vantage Point
- The Island
- Rockstar
- The Exorcist: Director's cut
- Constantine
- The Prestige
- Fever Pitch
- The Terminal
- It
- Face off
- Pineapple Express
- Juno
- Stomp the Yard
- You Got Served
- Superbad
- License to Wed
- Sweeney Todd: Demon BArber of Fleet street

I was able to watch 4 of them (the ones in orange)... 39 more to go! they gave such a dramatic title so i wanna change it to MOVIES I HAVE TO WATCH BEFORE THE SUMMER ENDS. i hope i can meet my goal. so now my first task is to borrow dvd's from everyone. toodles! :)

my simple dreams...

2009-03-15T20:01:00.004+08:00

summer is here and summer jobs are everywhere. ever since i was a little kid, i dream of having something to do during summer aside from sleeping til noon, watching TV til it explodes and reading pocketbooks til my eyes hurt. i wanna earn extra money so i can have something to spend. too bad i still cannot fulfill that dream of mine because i have classes from april to may. but if you would ask me, i would love to spend my summer as a...

McDONALD'S CREW- i know it's hard and i know it's tiring and that's why i like it. i wanna experience the toxcity behind the counter of our favorite fastfood. i wonder how they make cheeseburgers and what's the secret why people love it so much. i want to feel the pressure in dealing with a demanding, out-of-the-reason customer. i want to wear that cute uniform and annoying hairnet.

TOURIST GUIDE- i want to go to places i haven't been to like, top of the list, baguio. i can read all the necessary information and study all about our country's famous spots because i know in return, it's going to be a lot of fun.

BARISTA- do i need to explain? it just seems fun to be one. hahaha! plus the free coffee. coffee= caffeine= me.

TEACHER- i want to teach street children. i want to teach them how to read, write and draw. i can be with them all day! it's not everyday that i see grateful smiles of children so spending a summer helping the unfortunate ones can be cool too.

RIDE OPERATOR- ... at enchanted kingdom. how cool is it to test the rides every morning? i wanna experience that. haha! even though i am afraid of riding the roller coaster. and yeah, i just think it's a happy thing to see families, group of friends and couples having their time at the amusement park.

if ever i would have the chance, i will- for sure- grab the opportunity and be one of those listed above. summer does not mean being a bum, right? have a blasting summer ahead! ^^

everyone's gone bad???

2009-02-28T21:47:00.003+08:00

i've just heard the reason why chris brown was arrested for domestic violence and i just cannot take it. i was like 'did he just do that? really?' he just seems to be a very good guy so i'm still in the state of denial that chris brown is not a mr. nice guy. yes, i'm still in denial.

i don't know but i think everyone has changed lately. i have a friend who ran away from home and refuses to go back. my classmates are backstabbing each other these past few days. the good students are turning into i-don't-care children. the studious ones who spend their night sstudying have just proclaimed themselves as not and started drinking 6 times a week. everybody is getting short- tempered, including me, yes.

WHAT IS HAPPENING? everybody is sooo alien- like and i just want to ask 'who are you? which planet are you from?' i know that the only thing that is constant is change and i have no violent reaction to that. it's just that i want a constant change for the better. i don't want everyone to be bad or things to get worse.

honestly, now, i am wishing for world peace... and for rihanna and chris brown to be back on good terms. SPREAD PEACE and BE A BETTER PERSON!

DAY 1

2009-02-23T20:42:00.005+08:00

Even though at first I was kind of bitter for having duty on a holiday, I still consider today as very meaningful.

Being a first- timer at a mental institution, I am quite excited and nervous to handle clients since I still don’t know how to deal with them. The orientation and ward tour really helped a lot. Somehow, I was “desensitized” and I can already see the picture. All of my what- ifs, fears and anxiety were somehow taken away.

One thing that concerned me most is the situation of the clients inside the mental institution. I can see how old the structures are and how most parts of the areas need renovation. As a government institution, I think government officials must develop and provide funds for NCMH so that they can make their facilities better since environment is one of the factors that can help in rehabilitating the clients.

I consider today as a good experience. Having seen the clients and having observed how other students handle them, I gained some confidence for the next day. Reporting for duty on a holiday is not a bad idea after all.

hey! it's holiday!

2009-02-22T12:05:00.006+08:00

tomorrow is holiday and i can do all the thing in my mind. i can watch a DVD my friend lend me long time ago, finish the pocketbook i borrowed from my roommate, or surf the net all day long.

i am happy because i believe that students really need long weekends from time to time. maybe if a conduct a survey of what are the stressors of most teenagers, school will be top 1. requirements, research papers, homeworks.... AHHHH! they are never- ending! students deserve a break. and because i am a lucky kid, TOMORROW IS NOT A HOLIDAY FOR ME! i will still have to report for duty. could you believe that? argggggghhhhh!

so you, just enjoy your free day for me. toodles.

to them all...

2009-02-21T18:00:00.004+08:00

to all the nursing board exam passers, God has blessed you! Congratulations!
to our university's BSN batch 2008, Les Femme du Sacre Couer, you brought us glory! Caritas Christi Urgent Nos!

and after a year and a half, it's my turn.

it's february 14 and the whole world is in love!

2009-02-14T18:55:00.003+08:00

every guy has a bouquet of flowers in his hand, every girl has an excited look on her face and everyone has the aura of love- of Valentine's day. the tradition that started during the time of Geoffrey Chaucer, the great author of the Canterbury tales and until now, it is a tradition celebrated by couples... and singles like me. AND I AM NOT BITTER. it's february 14 and the whole world is in love!

i hate all the emo people out there sending quotes of bitterness because they don't have a date or they're single or they just don't have anything to do. i saw this circle of friends at the mall wearing all black and heard one member say 'walang valentine!' they're really funny for being oh-so-bitter! and duh, 'valentine'. i admit it, i am kind of emo too and there's that little pang of jealousy but i know i have my friends with me. i received three roses from my guy friends, see? who needs a boyfriend or a boylet to have a fun, fulfilling V day?

i am happy to see couples walking together with sweetness, eating happily with love. there's the feeling of 'awwww'. we filipinos are just the best in celebrating V day- the baduy lines, the flowers from Dangwa, the eating out, the gasgas ways of surprise, the boy holding the girl's things. filipino guys, for me, are the sweetest creatures. anong sinabi ni romeo? the best pa din si florante.

i don't know... i'm just happy.

HAPPY V DAY! spread love :)

if i were a boy

2009-01-31T20:47:00.003+08:00

i love being a girl. this morning, i was brushing my teeth and looking at myself in the mirror. i have a long hair- what if it's short? i have a headband- what if it's waxed and styled up? i am petite- what if i'm 6-foot tall? what if i'm a boy?

if i were a boy...

... i would hang out with skater boys and skate all day long. but then i will not look like a poser just like the guys i see wearing skater shoes, big earphones and all that outfit but cannot really skate at all.
... i would give my seat to a girl or an elderly standing in front of me at the LRT.
... i would eat at McDo not minding how fattening it is to dine there.
... i would own a PSP.
... i would not get nervous whenever i drive. swabe lang dapat!
... i would get smelly from playing basketball.
... i would not be "maangas". i would not act like i own everything around me.
... i would never ever be late for class not like my other guy classmates.
... i would never be bolero and would not use lines like 'na-love at first sight kasi ako sayo'
... i would be ready for a date especially if i was the one who asked for it. i would not argue where to eat or what movie to watch.
... i would be an architect. yes. and draw people's dream homes.
... i would be in the soccer varsity team. soccer is just cool!

but then it's just weird imagining if-i-were-a-boy. being a girl is just as rocking fun!

35 little not so secrets

2009-01-25T21:51:00.005+08:00

the only rule is HONESTY

[ONE] Who was your last text from?

> yuri, the only paulinian swimmer. hahaha! peace tol.

[TWO] Where was your default pic taken?

> no default pic here.

[THREE]Your relationship status?

> sumisigaw na SIIINNNGGGLLLLE!

[FOUR] Have you ever lost a close friend?

> yes. many. we lost the friendship but they're still alive, okay?

[FIVE] What is your current mood?

> swabe lang. hehe! not too happy, not too sad.

[SIX] What's your brother's name?

> gio miguel

[SEVEN ] What's your favorite color(s)?

> white, black and blue

[EIGHT] Where do you wish you were right now?

> europe. my ultimate dream place.

[TEN] Ever had a near death experience?

> yes. when we went cave hopping at biak na bato in bulacan.

[ELEVEN] Something you do a lot?

> study, study, study.

[THIRTEEN] What's stopping you from going for the person you like.

> it's just hopeless.

[FOURTEEN] When was the last time you cried?

>i forgot. my life is going smoothly right now.

[FIFTEEN] Is there anyone you would do anything for?

> of course!

[SIXTEEN] What do you think about when you are falling asleep?

> school, some person and tomorrow.

[SEVENTEEN] Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

> sir jamison. this morning.

[EIGHTEEN] What are your favorite songs?

> my favorite song for today is seventeen forever by metro station. i have many favorites. haha!

[NINETEEN] What are you doing right now?

>blogging. texting. watching tv. i'm miss multi-tasking!

[TWENTY] Who do you trust right now?

> family.

[TWENTY-ONE] Where did you get this survey

> from some bulletin board.

[TWENTY-TWO] Have you kissed someone in the past week?

> friends, mom.

[TWENTY-THREE] What is your lucky number?

> 5?

[TWENTY-FOUR] Who are your friends that are closest to you?

> ivan, kaye.

[TWENTY- FIVE] Describe your life in one word?

> great!

[TWENTY- SIX] Have you ever kissed in the rain?

> still dreaming for this to happen.

[TWENTY-SEVEN] Who are you thinking of right now?

> our taekwondo president.

[TWENTY- EIGHT] What should you be doing right now?

> sleeping.

[TWENTY-NINE]If you could wish for something over a birthday cake right now what would it be?

> better things to come my way.

[THIRTY] What are you listening to right now?

> songs from myx hitchart.

[THIRTY- ONE] Who was the last person who gave you a hug?

> mafe. my ever-cuddling classmate.

[THIRTY- TWO] Who was the last person who yelled at you?

> kaye? i guess...

[THIRTY- THREE] Do you act differently around the person you like?

> yes. i act nonchalantly. haha!

[THIRTY- FOUR] What is your natural hair color?

> black with some brown

[THIRTY-FIVE]Who was the last person to make you laugh?

> myself? haha! i was telling a story and it was very funny. see my post below.

moment of the week

2009-01-25T21:15:00.002+08:00

for this week, we were assigned to have our duty at a public health center in upper bicutan, taguig. i have been there before. the area looks like a real urban community. "p*tang *** mo" graffiti everywhere, small children playing with craps along the street, tricycle drivers saying 'sexy' to every girl that will pass by, the smell of the pusali. i have no complaints or whatsoever. i have been to more oh-my-gosh areas. our 3- day duty went very well.

our favorite snack is the bakery goodies. on our second day, i went to the nearby bakery to buy lunch. i cheerily greeted the ates and kuyas around.

ME: ate, may putok po ba kayo?
ALL: (just started laughing)
ATE: wala (while laughing)
ME: (blushed) hindi po! yung tinapay po and ibig kong sabihin.

and yeah... that was the unforgettable moment of the week. my groupmates just won't stop laughing their ass off. argh!!!

MORAL: be careful of your choice of words. true, true.

the very famous PUTOK

the 2-hour nosebleed

2009-01-17T20:46:00.002+08:00

midterms week is finally over! great, our exam was just mind boggling. my nerve cells worked really hard that they already protested and caused me headache while answering my i-don't-know-a-single-thing exam.

we were allowed to answer the test for two hours. i spent the the first half-hour complaining and cursing myself for not knowing what to do with the test paper. i actually thought of tearing it into small tiny pieces, turning them into pellets and throwing them to my classmates who i know feel the same way as i do. my second option was to make airplanes out of my paper. the first one was still the better option since i'm not really good at paper plane- making.

i don't get the point why our professors give us exams that we cannot, literally, answer. exams are for evaluation, right? of what you learn, and to what extent did you understand what the whole class is talking about everyday of our junior life. but then , they produce impossibly hard tests. how can they know what we really learned if all of us fails that damn crappy test. arghhhh!

i just can't get over the fact how i gave up 6 hours of sleep just to review really hard and realizing that you know not more than half of the questions written in the crappy thing. shoot. maybe test paper pellets was a good idea after all.

batang- bata ka pa

2009-01-07T18:30:00.003+08:00

CHINESE GARTER- ang paboritong laro ng mga batang babae. pataasan at pagalingan tumalon at hindi sumabit ang paa sa garter. kung mahaba ang school uniform mo, talo ka.

TEKS- ang koleksyon ng mga batang lalaki. paramihan at pakapalan. may pamato pa- yung teks na hindi natatalo. ito ang sugal ng mga musmos na lalaki. pag talo ka, mapupunta sa kalaban ang isang dangkal na inipon mong teks for 1 month.

LAGIT-LAGITAN- ang primary cause ng mga sugat at peklat sa tuhod ng mga bata. malas mo na lang kung mabagal ka tumakbo at madaya ang taya. kung sa magspang na kalsada kayo naglalaro, ingatan mo tuhod mo dahil peklat ang abot nyan pag nataya ka.

TAGU-TAGUAN- kailangan magaling kang humanap ng ultimate spot na pagtataguan mo. pero wag ka dapatmasyado lumayo dahil pag hindi ka nakita ng lahat ng kasama mo, patay ka, di ka na hahanapin ng mga yun. marerealize mo na lang ayawan na pala at meron ng ibang laro. ano pa gagawin mo? edi iiyak ka na lang.

PATINTERO- ang laro ng mga batang kalsada. mas masaya kung konti ang sasakyan na dadaan. dire-direso ang laro. dapat mahaba ang mga kamay mo kung taya ka. kung ikaw ang papasok, dapat magaling ka dumiskarte dahil uso talaga ang dayaan.

hay... ang sarap maging bata. wala lang, naalala ko lang kasi yung buhay grade school dahil napagkuwentuhan namin ng mga kabarkada ko. noon, walang pansinan kung magaslaw kang kumilos, kung may naghalo ng alikabok at sipon sa mukha mo, kung amoy pawis ka na. ang talo lang non ay yung mga iyakin at asar- talo. iba na ngayon... pag magaslaw kumilos ang isang babae, turn-off para sa mga boys. pag madumi na ang mukha mo, ano ka taong grasa? pag amoy pawis ka na, ang jahe naman pag sumakay ka sa jeep o sa LRT o kaya makita mo yung ultimate crush mo. pero ang good part dyan, pag umiyak ka ngayon, maraming reresbak sa mga nagpaiyak sayo. dati kasi pagtutulungan ka pa lalo.

sobrang iba na talaga ngayon. hindi na kasi uso yung solid na laro ng mga bata. dati kahit meron kayong sanga ng puno, ayos na at buo na yung laro-tayo session. creative ang mga bata noon. (ehem) ngayon, pag may stick ang isang bata- ano gagawin ko dyan? dati, hindi uso ang mga game consoles dahil ang mahal nga naman ng mga ganun, mas solb pa sa labas ng bahay. ngayon? kulang na lang magsuntukan ang mga bata dahil hindi malaman kung sino ang mauuna sa playstation. noon at ngayon- classic!

kung may tatlo akong wish, siguro magwiwish ako na maging bata ulit... syempre hindi lang ako, lahat ng mga kalaro at kaklase at kapatid ko.

sige, tatapusin ko pa yung crash bandicoot eh.

hello to january 5!

2009-01-03T21:17:00.002+08:00

what is the saddest part of every vacation? it is the feeling of going back to reality- you still have a career at school. and unfortunately, i am having that feeling right now. i hate it. ARGH!!!

the year's almost over :)

2008-12-31T14:22:00.010+08:00

2008 IS ALMOST OVER, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Kissed someone new?

-- yes. many many kisses on the cheeks of new friends :)

Done something you've regretted?

-- it was a mistake but no regrets for me.

Lost someone?

-- the person's not lost. the role just changed.

Cut class?

-- yes. now i wanna say sorry to my religion professor :)

Were involved in something you'll never forget?

-- yes!

Visited a different country?

-- sadly, no.

Cooked a gross meal?

-- no!

Lost something important to you?

-- luckily, i haven't.

Dyed your hair?

-- my mom won't allow me!

Came close to losing your life?

-- yes. everytime i cross the street. hahaha! im a stupid ass!

Went to a party?

-- of course!

Read a great book?

-- many.

***

2008: Friends and Enemies.

Did you meet any new friends this year?

-- many many many. and im very thankful :)

Did you dislike anyone?

-- yes.

Did you grow apart from anyone?

-- uhhh. i dunno.

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?

-- none.

***

2008: Your Birthday.

Did you have a cake?

-- i had 3!

Did you have a party?

-- a surprise and an official.

Did you get any presents?

-- yes. thanks to my friends :)

***

2008: All about You.

Did you change at all this year?

-- for the better, yes.

Did you get your hair cut?

-- i cut my hair short. hahaha! adik eh...

Were you in school?

-- 98% of the year!

Did you get good grades?

-- average. hahaha!

Did you have a job?

-- no.

Did you drive?

-- yeah.

Did you own a car?

-- during the summer. hahaha!

Did anyone close to you give birth?

--3 friends?

Did you move at all?

-- drom to house, house to dorm.

Did you go on any vacations?

-- an overnight at puerto galera. does that count?

Would you change anything about yourself now?

--anything for the better.

***

2008: Wrap Up.

Was 2008 a good year?

-- yes!

Do you think 2009 will top 2008?

-- i wish :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

my great 2008

2008-12-27T20:07:00.002+08:00

time passes by so fast. new year's day is fast approaching and very soon, we'll be saying goodbye to 2008 and hello to 2009. my 2008 has been great! i know this sounds so dramatic but even though there came many problems and trials and depressing moments, i still managed to make my year a good one.

i remember the time when 2008 was just starting and feng shui shows and articles were all around... the "experts" said that people born under my year will be unlucky. they were kinda right in saying that, fine. many weird and unusual thing happened but i never really considered them unlucky. for other people maybe, but for me? no, no, no. i believe that things will be unlucky if you just consider them as such. there were moments that things didn't go my way but i made it a point to find ways on how to alter what was happening.

the greatest lesson of this year? think mature and never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. AND DON'T LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDING TO WHAT THOSE EXPERTS SAY. have control of your own life!

have a good year ahead!

from my grandma :)

2008-12-24T11:29:00.001+08:00

my grandma wants to say merry christmas and her wish is PEACE on earth.
hahaha! i love her so much. she's so cool!

VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2008-12-24T11:07:00.002+08:00

oh, oh, oh yeah! finally, after one month, my blog is updated. i must admit that i became so busy the past month that i barely had time to visit my one and only blog in cyberworld. tsk, tsk. bad me. i've decided when i woke up this morning that i MUST blog today because my page is just starting to become so benign like a cancer cell.

so... it's the 24th of december- a couple of hours til christmas day. i am just so excited because i can almost taste the christmas-y atmosphere. all is busy preparing for noche buena. the song is right- 'tis the season to be jolly. goodbye to all the requirements, to all the toxic nights, to all the i-have-no-choice-but-not-to-sleep lectures. IT IS CHRISTMAS VACATION! we are lucky because we are given two weeks of rest and be with our family and be happy. i know i am so OA because it's not like a once in a lifetime experience... but for me, it is one of the best gifts for this holidays - rest and relaxation.

oh yeah... i am so, uber happy! i don't know. this christmas feels so different. maybe because i just became so stressed at school... anyway, gotta go! hafta prepare dessert for christmas dinner. but hey, i want your opinion- what's better? fruit salad or buko pandan? it's been the argument of our house since last night. hahaha!

very merry christmas everyone!
never forget that giving and forgiving is the spirit of this season :)

i scream: I LOVE YOUR BLOG!

2008-11-25T19:25:00.006+08:00

thanks to jes- the blog huntress. i definitely love love love your blog too :)

The rules of the award are:
1. The winner can put the logo on his / her blog.
2. Link the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs of those you have nominated.

Previous awardees: Mabelle, Prily, Ate Norma, I Love Philippines Too, Shenga, Nova, WebbieStuffs, Nancy, Webloglearner, Pinay Wahm, and My So Called Life, Let’s Spice Things Up, Beauty and Shop, Idealpinkrose, allin, kimchiland, Korean Food, The Paper Vision, Embrace Simplicity, Me and Mine, A Window To Our World, A Grateful Heart, Can of Thoughts, A Mother’s Stuff, http://housewifeatwork.blogspot.com/, MommaWannabe, Lourdes Mia, Praning’s Shoutout, When Silence Speaks, Etc Atbp, Aeirin’s Collections, Life is What we Make it, Underneath It All, Cellulitic Bliss, 100% Kelly, C'est La Vie, Our Family Adventure!, As We Face Forever, BeinG mYselF, The Pakarazzi Experience, BlogHunt, caffeinated dreams

I am passing this award to arrested magikero, kaye, little miss gossip girl, ang desperadong nobelista, cat, reanne, ennuh

helloooo christmas!

2008-11-25T18:14:00.003+08:00

christmas is actually nearing and it feels so good.

i love the feeling of chilly mornings, christmas carols everywhere, karoling outside our house every night (actually i just hear them whenever i'm home. but i know those kids), happy families around the mall for christmas shopping, toy sales, big christmas trees and fancy decors.

ohh lala! it's the best season of the year!
ADVANCE MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE :)

not my way.

2008-11-15T21:47:00.004+08:00

i am really upset. i consider the past 7 days not bad... but disastrous! i don't know but it seems that things are not going my way this time of the month. it's not the week of friday the 13th, right? and even if it is, i don't believe that it brings bad luck.

what could be worse in finding out that your computer is busted when you have to pass a 23- page case study of a disease that is very new to you? what could be worse in being in a male ward full of soldiers that keeps on staring at you as if you're the first woman they have ever seen? what can be worse in losing someone when you least expect it? what could be worse in you being so happy because your PC has been finally revived but all the files were deleted? what could be worse in feeling that everything will get worse?

i know i am so bad that i don't see the positive side of life but for pete's sake,i feel really weak to be strong right now. like for example, being with soldiers... they are all kind and nice and all but sometimes they have this jokes and pick- up lines and stares that shiver down my spine. i have this patient which is as old as my dad and his stare still says that he has interest to the student nurses around him. the nerve! i know, i can go to him and say 'can you just stop looking at us? because it is really awkward!' but i'm just not in the mood to argue and be scolded by my clinical instructor.

i must not feel upset anymore. this week will be another 7 days. i must not live on the past. i must cheer up and fight. things will eventually go my way and get better. right, right.

11 to 1

2008-11-02T13:03:00.004+08:00

11 things on your birthday list:

a new laptop. PLEASE! i can't use properly the one i have now.
an SLR camera
10,000 worth of gift certificate acceptable to any shop
sony PSP
one pair of nike dunks
complete taekwondo gear
an electric guitar
many many many books
trip to singapore, greece or rome
a course at PCCI
a boyfriend. ha-ha!

10 random things about you

i scream for ice cream!
i love to draw but i'm not really that good
i study in a university across robinson's place manila
i smile and laugh alot
i eat raw noodles
i always chew on drinking straws
i love caffeine because i am always, i mean ALWAYS sleepy
i like meeting new people but i am a really shy person
i've started taekwondo lessons without any reason
i am childish but i think mature

9 things you wanted to be when you were a kid

to be a teacher and teach street children how to read and write
to be a rock star and have a jam-packed concert. ha-ha
to be a painter and paint a church's ceiling
to be a professional photographer and capture memories
to be a flight attendant and travel the whole world
to be an architect and build a beautiful house for my parents
to be a superhero and save the world
to be a witch and be with harry potter forever
to be a chef and cook the most delicious food

8 of your favorite things to eat

ice cream!
persian food especially shawarma
spicy kani maki
chocolate
arabian food (yellow rice and roasted chicken)
pasta
rocky milk bread
anything potato

7 things to do before you turn thirty

be successful in my profession
find the one i will spend forever with
have at least 1 child
own a house
own a car
have enough money for my family

6 things/people/events that inspire you

GOD
my family
graduation :)
the Nursing Licensure Exam that i will soon take
my friends
my grandparents

5 of your favorite shops

powerbooks
national bookstore
bayo
topshop
toys r' us

4 of your bestest friends/closest friends

kaye
ivan
ulrik
james

3 of your favorite things in your bedroom

our BED
desktop
television

2 things you don't want to do right now

go to manila. the classes will start again!
stand up and get water downstairs

1 thing you want to happen right now

1. a genie to appear in front of me so that at least three wishes of me would be granted :)

metanoia

2008-11-01T18:34:00.007+08:00

i've been really weird lately because i feel that i am in the phase of metanoia (me-tan-noya) which means a total change of heart. yes, i am having these out-of-this-world thoughts and realizations.

1. i realized that am really meant to be a nurse. before, i don't really dream of wearing a scrubsuit. i swore to myself back then that if ever i will be given a chance, i will shift to architecture-the course that i was actually dreaming of. but after passing the first semester of my junior year, i already know that this is GOD's fabulous plan for me. I AM GOING TO WHERE A SCRUB SUIT AND SAVE LIVES. I AM A NURSE :)

2. my old multiply site that really suckingly sucks is now under construction. i've decided that it deserves to be treated as a real 'multiply' site. haha! and my decision is right. people started to acknowledge my page.

3. single life is not really boring. i have my friends, my family and my school career. my search for mr. dreamboy, i will stop for the meantime. forwarded text messages are right, hindi hinahanap yan, dadating lang bigla. (i good realization for my lovelife, right?)

4. this second semester, i should focus on my studies and lessen my gala sessions with my barkada. i mean, rob ermita after class won't hurt but dorm visiting? na-ah, goodbye for some time.

5. i should never waste my chances. God is really good for granting my prayers. i should always thank Him for these. I almost failed but He gave me the chance to stand up. I'M GRABBING ALL THE OPPORTUNITIES NOW :)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN GUYS!
sit and stop for a while, maybe you'll have thoughts like mine!
enjoy your parties for the night :)

INDAAAAAAAAAY!

2008-10-30T20:27:00.007+08:00

whenever i have classes and i go home for the weekened, i am little miss pampered student nurse. my mom knows that i am oh-so-tired from all the hospital duties, never-ending requirements and nose-bleeding quizzes and exams. she would always cook 'special' dishes, my favorites. and when it is time for me to go back to manila, she has all the baons- the promdi foods you can never find in manila- prepared beside my bag.

but weekend breaks are way, way, way, different from sembreaks. from being little miss spoiled i was transformed into kikay inday. kumbaga kung lalaki ka, ikaw ang boy ng bahay. oh yes. it is a working sembreak for me. my mother, because i am just so lucky, got busy the moment i started the second half of my break... so if you already figured it out- i have to do all the cooking, the cleaning, the merienda-preparing for the carpenters, the answering of the phone and the yelling sessions with my younger siblings.

i never complained to my mother because i get these priveleges like free nail treatments and free loads. and the thing is it's a form of exercise. i have to burn these fats in my bulging tummy. those glasses of alcohol i had consumed during the past parties are smiling and saying hello to me in the form of adipose tissues when i look in the mirror. doing chores is also an excuse from watching texas chainsaw massacre or the grudge 2 or vacancy or whatever scary/gory movie there is.

maybe it is not a bad idea after all. and besides, classes will start next week... you know what i mean. *evil laugh here*

business

2008-10-28T21:08:00.001+08:00

quoted from my friends bulletin:

"Sony PS2 with one original CD, controller and other accessories on it..

Hindi pa xa converted but bagong bago pa..

Di ko kc ginagamit kaya benta ko nlang..

pm me if interested kayo para pagusapan natin ang price..

-Manila Area Only-"

if you're interested. you can inform me in my tagbox. thanks :)

the walled city

2008-10-28T17:54:00.002+08:00

it's a shame to say that i just had my first visit of intramuros. well, i have been to fort santiago during our field trip when i was in prep school. and that doesn't count, right? i don't even know back then that it was intramuros. sooo, yes... i had my first 'real' visit of the walled city last week.

my friend brought his space wagon with him. tamang- tama, vintage! haha! we entered the city and i was immediately fascinated with what i saw. i liked how the structures look. the buildings and houses reflect our history with the spaniards. basically, intramuros is a mirror of spanish architecture.

what more can i say? the place is simply breath-taking.

it's still not independence day

2008-10-18T10:46:00.005+08:00

it's sem break again. the desire of each college student every mid-october. i love the feeling of having a break. you can sleep late and wake up late, you can watchTV ’til it smokes because it is turned on the whole day, you can bury your nose in a good pocketbook, and you can text all day long ’til your thumbs swell. yes, this is what you call a normal teenage life. i hate it that i am being deprived of these things ever since i started college. but what can i do right? a bright future requires some deprivations. like for one example, social life. BUT sem break can give it back to you! actually i've started my gala sessions last tuesday. FREEDOM, you are mine!

i am oh-so- excited for more. yes, 3 sheets of bond paper might not be enough for my long list of plans of what to do, where to go and what to buy. my ultimate goal this break is to be with my high school barkada. i really miss them so much. it is hard to accept that we are all busy with our own hectic lives that we barely have time to hang out anymore. so yes, i have to at least see them this vacation.

secondly, i have to go to bar. you wouldn't believe that my last bar visit was the past summer vacation. what the fuck, right? i want to dance all night and swear to hell because my feet are effing revolting already inside my high heels. i miss that. but enough of the alcohol-drinking sessions. i had more than enough during the first semester. because most of the celebrated birthdays for the past four months served alcohol as the main course. hehe!

blah blah blah. if i don't want to be here typing til the tenth decade of my life i would not recite all of my plans. believe me. i have thousands! hahaha!

anyway, i know you know how excited i am to accomplish my list for this sem break. pero dahil nursing student ako at ganito naman ang buhay namin- maybe i won't accomplish even one- fourth of my list. because, bloody yes, we will start our one-week training next monday. so our three- week semestral break will be gone. three weeks na nga lang nabawasan pa ng isa. grrrrrr.

really, bright future requires some deprivations. independence day will still be after 1 and a half years. I SHOULD BEAR THAT IN MIND.

sa malate

2008-10-04T20:44:00.002+08:00

naroon siya. tumitirik ang mata. lumilipad.

naglalakad ako sa kahabaan ng mga kalye ng malate. galing ako sa M.H. del Pilar sa isang condominium doon. pumunta ako sa adviser namin ng research. maganda ang panahon. mainit ang araw ngunit ang hangin ay mararamdaman mo pa rin sa iyong mukha. maayos ang lahat. ang mag- asawang lagi kong nakikita na nag-aaway doon sa isang tagong eskinita ay tila tahimik ang buhay sa araw na iyon. ang mga babaeng nakaistambay sa labas ng isang bar ay hindi ko nakita. nagpapahinga siguro sila. ang mga batang paslit na naghahalungkat ng basura ay hindi pa nagkakagulo sa tirang pagkain na karaniwan ay pinag-aagawan- kahit butobutong manok galing jollibee.

nagsisimula ang kaguluhan sa malate pag gabi na. iba- ibang kulay ng ilaw ang makikita mo. maiingay ang kalye dahil sa mga tugtog galing bar at videoke ng mga lasing. kalat na ang mga koreano, hapon at kano kapag sumasapit ang gabi. mahal ko ang malate. tatlong taon na ako dito. magulo ngunit masaya. makikita mo ang night life ng maynila.

binagtas ko na ang kalye ng malavar. doon kasi ang kabilang gate ng aking unibersidad. patingin- tingin ako sa paligid. baka may bago. patawid na ako ng intersection ngunit marami pa ang mga sasakyan. tumabi ako, lumingon- lingon. naroon siya. tumitirik ang mata. lumilipad- isang bata sa nakaparadang pedicab. may hawak na plastik na may rugby. nasaan na kaya siya? siguro masasarap na pagkain ang nasa isip niya. siguro isang malaking mansyon kung saan siya at ang kanyang pamilya ay masayang naninirahan. siguro mararangyang mga damit. siguro lumilipad na siya sa kanyang mga pangarap.

marami ang adik sa rugby sa malate. bata, matanda, babae o lalaki. madalas may makikita ka sa daan na umaamoy mula sa isang supot ng kemikal na makakapagpalipad sa iyo. alam ko kung bakit. wala silang pera pangkain. gutom, hirap at kalungkutan ay binabawi nila doon. pag high ka sa rugby, wala kang iniisip. parang lahat ay abot mo. lumilipad ka lang.

sana ay malunasan sila. sana ay huwag pabayaan ng kung sino man ang may responsibilidad na tuluyang lumiit ang mga utak ng mga taong ito sa kakahithit ng rugby. wala doon ang buhay nila. wala...

la-la-la

2008-09-21T14:38:00.002+08:00

i hate to see you go
the reason why i don't know
it's been months since you left me
but hey, i'm still the same girl you called baby

i don't have any plans of being a song writer but, yes. while i was taking a bath some words popped into my mind. and there, it became a verse. i came up with a tune too! a song dedicated for no one.

oh poetic me. i hate it.

the sili challenge

2008-09-20T20:37:00.014+08:00

minsan talaga, wala kaming magawa sa buhay. kaya eto... nag-sili challenge kami.
ang weird namin noh? wala namang prize... ano kaya yun.
hahaha! panoorin nyo na lang.

i will save a life

2008-09-20T20:14:00.004+08:00

i always want change. i am the kind of person who cares a lot. as a student nurse, we are having duties on hospitals like PGH. we all know that it is the largest public hospital in all 7, 107 islands of the Philippines. i have been there several times already for duties and outreach programs and i have seen, for several times also, the struggles of the patients staying there. could you believe that some patients stay at the corridors? no doubt, it employs the best, most efficient doctors of our nation... but still!

i can never change that fact- that the main public hospital of our country is like that. but i just told myself 'whatever it takes, i'll make change and i'll have contribution to PGH.'

it was our nursing day last wednesday and the Red Cross Youth Council, our school's chapter, organized a blood donation drive. the moment i saw the poster, i didn't think twice. i came in the room and inquired if i can donate blood. i was afraid, of course! the humungous needle freaked me out. nevertheless, this is the change i seek. i cannot do big things so i figured out that that was it.

one bag of my blood can save one life in PGH. i am proud of what i did :)

that's 450 cc of my blood :)

ULAN

2008-09-13T23:26:00.004+08:00

i love the rain as much as i love the sun. when i think of rain, the first thing that comes into my mind is my childhood days. i was a lucky kid because my parents allowed me to get wet and have fun in the rain back then. it had been the talk of the week since it was very rainy and we rarely saw the sun.

i've learned through our wala-pang-prof kwentuhan sessions that my other classmates never experienced the fun under the rain.

TERE: na-experience mo na ba maligo sa ulan?
ME: oo naman! hindi ka pa?
TERE: hindi pa... shit, ang loser ko!
ME: sinabi mo pa! tara, ligo tayo. hahaha!
TERE: promise, gusto ko talaga. ang lalaking sumama sa kin an maligo sa ulan pakakasalan ko.

so there, i never imagined that staying under the rain is such a big deal. nevertheless, i realized that those who never experienced it during their childhood thinks it is a great, great, great thing to do. well, actually, it is nothing of great importance BUT IT IS MORE THAN FUN. i felt freedom back then when we just ran to the door and stayed outside the gate of our house and danced and splashed and did all the childish things children do when it is raining. oohhh... memories.

that was what excites me during my early years- "ULAAAAN! LARO TAYO SA LABAS!"
but now? "UMUULAN! SUSPENDED NA!"

the talk of the town.

2008-09-02T20:13:00.004+08:00

i am a book lover. i started reading pocketbooks when i was still in primary school. i started with archie comics, then to sabrine the teenage witch, then to harry potter, then to dan brown and to more "matured" books. there was even a time that i finished a 700-page book in just two days. i was more than addicted. when i entered college, i barely have time to read anymore. all became so busy.

now i'm reading a 500-page book. i started 3 weeks ago and i'm still not finished! yes, your guess is right. it is the hottest, talk of the town TWILIGHT. girls, boys or whoever- all's just so addicted. i know it's weird, i really like the story and all but, besides i don't have the time, i don't want to finish the story. IT IS TOTALLY INSANE! i was never like that. when i like a story, i would try not to sleep just to finish the book but now, it's different.

i fell in love with edward cullen. the oh-so-perfect vampire in the book. well, i guess i don't have to explain. every person i meet everyday never fails to mention bella and edward, every page i visit has a blog of him and her, every magazine and newspaper i read has a critique of the book or author, everyone i see in the canteen, classroom or corridor is reading the book or the sequel of it. and now, i am officially making myself one of those oh-i-love-him-i-would-die-for-edwardcullen fans club.

and this morning, i decided that i would finish the book tonight. I MUST. all my classmates are reading it's last book already and i'm the only left stuck in the happy part. i have to be what i used to be again!

i am in love with a vampire who is not even real. I AM CRACKED.

3 days of rest

2008-08-16T22:04:00.006+08:00

finally, we were able to have a break for three days. yes, your guess is right. we had a three- day RETREAT! hahaha!

the place was really beautiful. i didn't know my school owns a place like that. now i know where part of my tuition is going. it was in alfonso, cavite... a three- hour trip from malate. because we are lucky little kids, our tires got flat when we were already in alabang so we were delayed by almost 40 minutes. thank god it was not traffic. when we arrived, the first meal was served-PANSIT baby. then we were given the time to go around the place, rest and just be alone. then we watched The Bucket List starring Jack Nicholson and the dark guy i don't know by name.

The second day, we did the usual activities on a retreat- talk, reflect, talk, activity, blah blah blah. The night was the most fun of all. When our guardian finally entered her room... ALAM NA! all went room hopping, stayed at the corridor, played the guitar, ate chips, kuwentuhan. oh... teenage life. then, it was past midnight, one of our classmates in the first floor shouted. our adrenalines went up. we ran like athletes back to our rooms. after a minute or two, all went out again when it was sure that there is no room-check happening . my classmate who shouted took a picture with the rest, and there on the screen was a face of a little boy looking like toshio of The Grudge. what could be more scary??? all went to the room of the boys to look at the photo. i didn't dare to look at it because i know i will just scare myself but yeah, based on their description... the girls went ballistic. we decided to sleep at one room altogether because all were so scared to go back to their rooms. then the ghost stories went on. it was the funniest moment.

the third day, we were all sleepy because of the event the night before. we had a mass and went home. it was realyy really fun but we feel so bitin. i hope we would have one again... with the ghosts- they make every retreat worth remembering. hahaha!

*for more photos, just visit my multiply account :)

my good girl act

2008-08-05T18:38:00.006+08:00

after days, i am able to blog again. actually, i do go online and check my blog every other day. i try to have a new post but my mind is always blank. like now. hahaha! i just decided to do this blog because my blog is getting kinda lame with no new updates. i think people who don't update their blog kind of suck so now i belong to the sucking suckers. see, there is no sense in what i am typing here. ha-ha!my life is just busy with hospital duties, quizzes, practices, MY RESREARCH REQUIREMENT- which chapter 1 is due this friday but i haven't started any- and other requierements.

one of my requirement is do 'acts of solidarity' for one week. how do we define solidarity? Solidarity can both refer to an action that caused change or you became an instrument of hope or meaning to people in suffering or need of aid. of course i don't do it intentionally. i believe that you have to do this without the thought of getting a high grade. right?

yesterday, i gave some coins to this kid who cleaned my shoes while i was on the jeep. and yes, i think i am already an 'instrument of hope'. hahaha! because the kid looked like he hasn't eaten for 2 weeks. i hate his parents for not giving him dignity. he works despite of the heavy rain and floody streets. and where are they? i think they are just out their nourishing themselves with alcohol with the money their child is getting from cleaning shoes. grrr.

i just want to spread the word. let us not be apathetic. let us care. our little deeds can be great acts in the eyes of other people. i felt like spiderman- the superhero who gives hope- when i gave that kid 5 pesos. try it, it feels great :)

just seeing them smile can lift your soul

ha-ha!

2008-07-22T16:28:00.002+08:00

okay, this so weird. after posting craps about school, this guy arrived. he's just cute. he is the guy i always see at the court playing ball. hahaha! great. perhaps, after all, there is good karma.

school is cool. i mean it. ^_^

school is cool

2008-07-22T14:50:00.002+08:00

i have been very very busy lately. define busy? everyday, when i arrive at my dorm, there is no time to rest anymore since i have many projects to do and many tests to review for. AND during weekends, i know i should rest because it is weekEND, i still don't have the time. what the hell, right?

now i'm here at the university's computer lab. it sucks. i can't access some sites here like friendster, myspace, blah blah blah and even my yahoo messeneger. ugh! like, hello?! it's the only way we can release our stress then you prohibited it? damn.

for the next 3 weeks, i have to stay for 6 days in school. no hospital duty, my friend. yeah, yeah... at first i was very delighted but then i realized it is a worse idea to stay here. it is sooo boring. my ethics class which is from 8 am to 2 pm, i discovered, is a very cool sleeping, texting, drawing time. ha-ha! okay, i am mean. i am supposed to do ethical things like listening to my professor because it is an ethics class and yet i continue doing very unethical things like designing my ideal house. DUH! it is so grade school.

okay, i hate to end this but i m just so out of my mind right now. i don't even know what i am typing. hehe! oh my god, i am turning into a psycho!

school is cool, mate! i love school... SHOOT ME.

to the rescue.

2008-07-16T14:57:00.002+08:00

all is quarreling and crying. all of them with different problems. oh my. i'm the superhero- ready to save emotionally devastated individuals.

yeah... great. i need a hero too.

fun and drama

2008-07-12T23:49:00.002+08:00

my mind is blank and has altered functioning. the week was not that busy but i still feel tired and exhausted. my week has been undescribable. fun and drama and extraordinariness? yes, full of it.

SUNDAY: my friend's cellphone just got stolen when we were buying something along pedro gil street, malate. we never expected it since she placed it to the depths of her backpack. tsk, tsk. my friend got so depressed.

MONDAY: my professor was absent since she didn't realize that we have a class on that day. and i was so outraged because i struggled to wake up early that day so as not to be late for her class! but the fun part was we have nothing to do! oh yeah.

TUESDAY: my professor came in early for class to 'make up' for the missed monday session. and she just reminded all of my classmates who have third eye to just shut up if they see anything unusual. DUH!

WEDNESDAY: the same professor, the same story. weird day because we went to library to finally utilize what we are paying for. we rarely go to the libraray. like, 5-7 times every semester. haha! we are such good students, i know.

THURSDAY: our dean/manager/whatever-she-is-because-i-don't-know-her-position interrupted our class to show us a letter posted anonymously in our college bulletin board. the letter was like- i condemn the nursing faculty for being so and so. i condemn the blah blah for being uncompassionate and insensitive. so on and so forth. what a rebel. and that was the gossip of the day. all was wondering who was the asshole who did the letter. i say HE/ SHE IS STUPID FOR NOT SIGNING THE LETTER. pag ginawa mo, lubusin mo na!

FRIDAY: our research topic was finally approved by our adviser. we can finally move on with our lives and start with chapter 1. yeah, way to go.

SATURDAY: it is today. drama, drama, drama. we had a debate during our asian civilization class- should the church be given a chnace to govern a country? we were the YES side and we did quite well. the other group was good too. but the tension built up and the debate ended up with two of our classmates quarreling. well, not really. the other said this joke and the other one took it seriously and they both cried- one at the comfort room,the other at the stairs. it was just so dramatic. yes.

so, it's sunday today. another week. i hope this week would be more okay and fun and exciting. a little drama would do but enough of the crying- quarreling part. i hate dramas.

i say good midnight and happy sunday :)

this is love <3

2008-07-06T12:45:00.008+08:00

love love love. all's in love and happy with their partner. most of my friends got one. i am happy that they are happy. but honestly, i sometimes feel jealous that i am one of the singles. sometimes i go around the mall and see sweet young lovers with hands clasped together, laugh and cheer one another in the arcade, eat happily and with love in their eyes.

two of my roommates have a special someone and at times, they quarrel with their boyfriend. and i can't imagine myself quarreling with someone on the phone while reviewing for a long quiz and doing a powerpoint presentation. but i want someone i can go out with when i have a free time, i can laugh with when i feel sad, i can cuddle when i feel like cuddling.

i am so ambivalent.

but then i ask myself 'what's a boyfriend for?' i can go out, laugh and cuddle with my friends, right? maybe it's still not my time. yes, right.

studying hard for my parents. being with my friends when they need me. malling alone and feeling happy for the sweet couples around me. hearing mass every sunday to thank god. caring and making myself available for my patients. cracking corny jokes to make people laugh. preparing birthday surprises. going to arcades to play and sing videoke with my barkada. sleeping late to study for a quiz. THIS IS LOVE!

having a boyfriend is love too. but there's no hurry. he will come if the time is right. now, i am happy. happy that i know what LOVE is.

i just got this from my friend's friendster page.
judge it.
is this LOVE?

all too damned thursday afternoon

2008-07-05T11:03:00.005+08:00

i'm back and kicking! and oh my god, it has been weeks!!! i just have so many things to do. and one of those is to visit an OB GYNE. i am not pregnant! i just have this hormonal whatever. anyway...

i tried visiting an OB last thursday. we were walking along taft avenue and a baklita- yes, a young gay. like around 9 years old- just looked at us with piercing eyes. inaway niya kami! and she pushed my friend, literally, the moment a jeepney was coming. and we were really scared and shocked. and he just walked away after. like nothing happened. i was so damned. that little gay devil must learn a lesson. but WHERE THE HELL IS HIS MOTHER or FATHER? street kid he is... after the incident i just felt empathy. no more hatred.

we reached the clinic safe and sound, thank the almighty God. we approached the guard and asked what floor the OB clinic is located. and because i am the luckiest girl in the world, the doctor was fortunately out. and again, i was damned.

we just moved on with our lives and my friend was damned because she forgot her LRT card. i was damned too because the LRT was just soooo full and i can smell the sweat of all the men inside the train. and yeah, sorry, but testosterone just makes men's smelly sweat, well, smellier. thank god we're just four stations away.

we headed for st. jude archdiocesan parish in malacanang. st. jude- the patron of the impossible, the forgotten saint. yes, he is the one who traitored our Christ, but also yes, he is still a saint. anyway, i was damned because perverts were all around. the jeepney barker, pedicab driver, a man walking on the street- they are all maniacs. wooting and shouting 'sexy!' at us. argh! they are just sooo disgusting. define!

well, well. it was just an all too damned thursday afternoon. and it seems like the days that are to come are destined for damnation too.

IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK! I MISSED DOING THIS THING! cheers :)

it was just like friday the 13th with some fortune of lucky 7

2008-06-22T13:41:00.006+08:00

what was the date yesterday? yes, it was the 22th of june, saturday. but it became more of friday, the 13th to me. unluckiest, blooper-est day of my week... with some parts of the day lucky. thank god!

it started early in the moring when the dorm's bathroom was just so full and it was already 7:30, my class is 8:00.ha-ha. it is already predicted, without clue, that i came in late for my asian civilization class. it doesn't matter though. since it's just one of my minors. but still... the good thing is, our class was cut-off because of the institutional holy spirit mass.

we then proceeded to the auditorium instead of spending the whole bloody three hours discussing about mesopotamia and some other ancient civilizations. the unlucky part? we were seated in fron of two talkative freshmen. they just kept on talking all throughout the mass! i just want to yell at them, like 'hello?! are you not sensitive enough to shut up your pieholes and keep the mass sacred? because you just keep on giggiling. duh! and there is nothing sensible in your conversation!'

the mass ended eventually- with the freshmen still talking and giggling like there is no tomorrow. we were told to stay for an announcement- CLASSES ARE SUSPENDED. and that was just so, well, lucky. all yelled and shouted, including us, and the two freshmen- i just can't forget them because they got me so annoyed.

i proceeded to the dorm to bag my things and change clothes. i have to go home for the weekend. i went to rob manila to buy a gift for my cousin. then headed for the lrt. unlucky- the lrt was just so full and i have no seat even though it was the time of the day when the train must be free of many people. second unlucky lrt incident- i tripped on my way to the door when the train reached 5th avenue. third unlucky part- i don't know what came through me but i inserted my card to the wrong machine. thanks to the ate guard that let me pass through the gate.

thank god there was already a bus when i reached the last step of the stairs. i rode the 'killer bus' (because it's as if you are going to heaven when you ride the bus. it flies in NLEX) and there was no seat. unlucky. later on, i was half-seated on a seat for losers. half- seated because only the half part of my butt is actually seating. get it?

we reached nlex and the bus flied. haha! it ws a fast trip. when we reached the exit. it was traffic. we waited 20 minutes to exit.

the story goes. the rest of my day is mixed of lucky and unlucky events. SO WIERD! it was just like friday the 13th with some fortune of lucky 7.

where all that matters is looks.

2008-06-17T10:20:00.003+08:00

i was not a fan of PDA or Pinoy Dream Academy before but i dared to watch it this time because someone i knew, someone from my hometown, just got in to the final whoevers. he is really good! hear him sing and you will be really amazed. all he lacks is the looks. i mean, he looks okay but not they i-am-a-celebrity-i-am-handsome type. when it was time to choose who will be in the academy. and yeah, he was not included, sad to say.

i was more than outraged! i was like 'what the hell is their problem? they chose people who can't even sing very well. parang nasa videoke lang yung iba ah!" why? because they got the looks? oh come on... is it all that matters? for pete's sake, IT IS A DAMN SINGING CONTEST! they should have started a pageant!

i know and yes, most of us do want good looks and hot body. i want it too. but i know when to choose looks over talent or looks over character. i would rather like a person who is average looking and very nice, kind, smart and has sense of humor than a person is good-looking but very arrogant and cruel. and in a talent show? I WOULD DEFINITELY CHOOSE THE ONES WHO HAVE GENUINE TALENTS THAN THE ONES JUST USE THEIR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE TO DELIGHT THE JUDGES AND DON'T HAVE THE TALENT AT ALL!

my point here is let us be fair. of course, we can't have all- God blessed some of us with really good looks but he also blessed some with great talents. and in certain circumstances we should be impartial in making our decisions especially on giving the chance to the deserving ones.

LOOKS CAN ALWAYS BE DECEIVING!

it's early in the morning and im HERE again.

2008-06-16T09:59:00.004+08:00

it's well, not too early, but still- it's 10 am! i don't usually do PC stuffs in the morning. it's the effing case study again! and it's more effing because my laptop is totally busted so im just renting a computer here in our dorm that costs 25/hour which is supposed to be free because, duh, we are paying here! and i am more outrageous when i learned the dorm manager is requesting me to transfer to the upper bed. early in the morning- bad news, bad mood. way to go.

i just woke up and Sister (because our dorm is being managed by a nun because i dorm inside the school and because our school is catholic school full of nuns) called me into her office. yes, without me taking a bath. so, i just showed up infornt of her with disheveled hair and puffy, i-just-woke-up eyes.

SIS: Lady, would you agree to transfer to the upper bed? it's just for one sem. until november.

ME: uhhh...

SIS: it would be very impolite for us to put the visitors in the upper bed.

ME: uhhh...

SIS: but if you don't want, i won't force you.

ME: uhhhh....

SIS: *stares at me with that very kind eyes that you can;t possible let down her request

ME: sorry sister but it would very hard for us to stay in the upper bed since we are now on the third year requirements would be very hard to accomplish if we stay in the upper bed and secondly it's hard to dress up for duty during early hours in the morning if we stay in the upper part because we don't have a desk light and we definitely need a desk light sorry sister.

SIS: okay.

literally, i didn't put commas in my speech in front of sister. i'm just to embrassed to let her down- with her very kind eyes. but i just can't give my bed to the visitor... from CHILE. i know, it's just until november but it would be very very hard. yes. really. BUT NOW MY CONSCIENCE IS KILLING ME! cos we just don't-can't- let sister down. she is very kind to us! and im very bad for not giving into her request. ahhhhhh! it's so hard.

and yes, plus my case study. what a very pleasant monday morning right? if you were me, what would you do?

HERE :)

2008-06-14T22:17:00.002+08:00

ohhhh, it is definitely good to be back! after a long hell-ish week... i'm home! but my mind is not 'at home' because I HAVE TO MAKE AN EFFING CASE STUDY! we, paulinian student nurses, don't believe in orientation week. my first day is as bloody as ever. argh!

my professors say we are now in the 'bottleneck' of our college life. i do agree with them- 100%. it's not just a simple bottleneck. it's a bottleneck full of thorns and very narrow that you'd wish to die before you pass through. believe me, it's really... ugh! i can't describe it. we are having a really hard hell time!

it's good to be back and type many things. but i don't have the time. i shall return soon. CIAO!

-- I BARELY HAVE TIME FOR KUNG FU PANDA! LOSER ME.--

my last saturday.

2008-06-07T20:05:00.002+08:00

it's not like i'm dying. it is just this is my last FREE saturday. next saturdays would be as busy as the rest of the days of the week. well, what can i do? i'm entering a very hard phase of college life- i'm gonna be a JUNIOR baby!

i just spent my saturday outside the house. went to my dorm for the usual fix-my-things every start of the semester. got my throat swabbed, well, for the throat swab gram stain test. passed by katipunan to fetch my sister who is currently reviewing for CETR (because i'm encouraging her to pass the UPCAT! oh, she really must. hahaha!) and set foot on SM north edsa to buy a white shoes for the first duty rotation and well, accompany my mom to do her 'panic grocery'.

why 'panic grocery'? she just did groceries last wednesday! and she just went for one again... today. and that's the hard part of having both parents with mathematically-enhanced minds--my dad's a CPA, my mom's an accountant has-been but originally a commerce graduate. they just know what is going on with the economy. their chat is like...

DAD: mommy, stock as many goods as you want.
MOM: why?
DAD: because of inflation. TFC says the price there just won't stop getting high.
MOM: oh yeah. good thinking! but i just had my grocery shopping last wednesday!
DAD: well, do it again. the price would never go down but up and up and up.

i know, right? they are just so... conscious! now we have sooo many stocks that it seems like we are establishing our own supermart.

well, my last FREE saturday is just fine. now i'm typing my, probably, last vacation blog. boo-hoo! at least i got the internet all by myself. hindi na humihinga mga tao dito kasi it's THE BIG NIGHT! wow, i am soooo excited! my gosh! my gosh!... NOT. i am not a BIG fan. haha! i do watch but not the type that my world stops everytime it's on the telly. tama lang. hehe! my vacation favorite is SINGING BEE! hahaha! it is so much fun. right... with cesar montano. yeah! hahaha!

okay, my last blog ends here. oops. my last-free-saturday blog rather. i'll just keep posted. if i have the time, i mean. haha!okay, BYE! gonna-no, HAVE TO- watch the Pinoy Big Brother Big Night! OH MY GAWD! that's a joke, okay? tsup! :)

p.s. how's kungfu panda? and URDUHA? hahaha! kung fu panda, seriously... how was it??? planning to watch it as soon as manila air touches my skin.just advice me. BYE!!!

i would never do such 'crime' again!

2008-06-04T21:07:00.002+08:00

"TAPOS NA OKAY? GET OVER IT!" my ate said. but i just can't take it off my mind. is it such a crime? i just accepted an offer. it's like ' oh my, it's an offer so good i can't possibly disagree.' okay, okay. sumingit kami sa pila. that's it! and you would wonder why i am over-acting here. because the mother just scolded my friend in front of many people. and i am so guilty because i am part of it but i never bothered to defend our side.

the story: we just finished from the registrar and had to fall in line in front of the cashier. my very good friend called me and said 'dito na kayo oh. tara!'. i know, you wouldn't refuse an offer like that right? knowing that you have the chance and the circumstances allow it. i know it's morally wrong. but hey, we didn't force ourselves into the line. we are offered by chance to be in the line. WE JUST ACCEPTED THE GOOD OFFER! we had a long way. about 30 minutes. and just when we were already in front of the cashier, the mother approachad my friend and gunned him with so many scary, i-am-an-annoyed-mother questions. and i feel so bad because i didn't help my friends. WHAT KIND OF CREATURE AM I?

i hate it. i really hate it. good thing my friend is a smart ass and handled the situation easily. if i was the one? i would probably cry and go at the end of the line and start again.

i would never do such 'crime' again! and i admit. technically, it's our fault. IT'S MY FAULT! sorry to the second years. to the mom. to my friend.to GOD.

it's a mark.

2008-06-02T22:18:00.004+08:00

i entered this chat room. i don't actually enter rooms but there is nothing better to do so when i entered, they were playing this some kind of name game- what's the hottest name for you? i didn't butt in. well, i just literally read their answers. CHESCA, SAM, BRAD PITT, FERGIE, JESSICA, so on and so forth. for me? it's WILLIAM. because i just finished this book by meg cabot with the character named william. he is really the 'man of your dreams' type and really hot. i know i'm cracked for giggling over a fictional character who's the reincarnation of King Arthur- as depicted in the story- and considering him hot and cute even if he is just a- HELLO?!- perfectly described fiction. and it just made me realize that 'hey, names do leave a mark. COOL!'

considering that i'm studying at a catholic university- well, i've studied at a catholic institution since grade school- it's inculcated in my mind that YOU SHOULD ALWAYS RESPECT YOUR NEIGHBOR'S NAME in line with the second commandment which is THOU SHALL NOT USE GOD'S NAME IN VAIN. and all my religion teachers said that names make the person. you give him identity, you make him unique by calling him by his name. the lesson which i just recently realized correct. like for instance the william thing... it's already marked in me that maybe a william is really a 'man of my dreams type' and maybe -i'm just half-considering it- a reincarnation of King Arthur.

like Paris Hilton... i know what comes to your mind when you hear the name- socialite, rich, fabulous, famous, b*itch. Brad Pitt- hot, hunk, sexy. Adam Sandler- funny, egg head, comedy films. Britney Spears- hot, sexy, pop-star-turned-addict... GET MY POINT?

and yeah, like me. at my school? i am LEEG... LEEG! for pete's sake, it's very annoying to hear that so-called (yeah, funny) nickname of me. i know you would ask why, of all the anatomical parts of the body, did they call me leeg? simply because i have a three-layered neck. literally. if you don't believe me, just go to my school and ask 'nasan po si leeg?' for sure they will lead you to where i am.

see people? it's a mark. how people describe you, what people call you, it will be their impression on you. so just don't let people call you kalbo, pango, taba, burnik, palaka, kabayo, aso, baho, or whatsoever. just snort at them, say 'my parents didn't spent 9 months thinking of my name for nothing!' and give them the piercing killer eyes. learn from me! okay?

love, LEEG

not.

NICCA!

open your eyes fool!

2008-06-01T22:31:00.003+08:00

obviously, it is haring araw's season- it's summer! nevertheless, rainfalls are frequent during the afternoons which is, i so noticed, not a normal thing before. and the super hot, beyond-okay-sizzling days are not normal either. agree? agree? yes, it is one of the effects of our own faults and actions. it's all visible. weather alterations, glacier melting twice as fast as previously believed, droughts, species dying... HUMAN, IT'S GLOBAL WARMING!

as what i've said before, isa akong 'PEKENG ADVOCATE NA MAY LINYANG SAVE MOTHER EARTH' but i've changed. i am a true advocate now. it is all i can do for mother earth. i mean it, seriously... but it seems no one is damn listening to me- which is one thing i really hate. i never do a highly funded, publicly known project and i don't have a super power to change things either ; i am just an ordinary college student so there is nothing big i can do. nevertheless, i always believe that big things come from small ones so i am starting at this very moment my own way of saving mother earth- SPREADING THE WORD.

open your eyes fool.
being heard is just a click away.
join online organizations. invite more friends.
SPREAD THE WORD!

month of the brides again!

2008-05-31T14:00:00.005+08:00

okay, i can't think of a good title. sooo... get it? it's june and june is for june brides right? okay, okay enough of my sucking blog title.

JUNE! the month when school starts. i haven't enrolled myself. yet to do it on june 4. i know enrollment really sucks big time. i feel so annoyed thinking of the long line in front of the cashier/ conference room with an old movie flashed at the screen which just makes the ambience more... uhhh... annoying because no one is watching it. my school is sooo into technology that they can't make our pre-registration and assessment online. HELLO?! there is only one thing i like about enrollment- it serves as our hi-how-are-you-after-21-days-we-haven't-seen-each-other day and oh-my-god-i-heard-that-gossip-about-so-and-so moment.

i miss my childhood days... when i was so excited for the first day of school because of my new shoes, new bag, new pens, new notebooks, new books, new pencase, so on and so forth. and yeah, NEW CLASSMATES too. now? i hate first day because it signifies another semester full of toxicity, torments and no-sleep nights. and new classmates don't excite me anymore. instead, it makes me so nervous because half of my batchmates are unfamiliar to me. it's just so hard to adjust. but yeah, at least i get a chance of knowing new faces and gaining new friends.

oh my... classes will start again on june 9! goodluck to me.

IT's JUNE 1 TOMORROW! PLEASE PRAY FOR THE NLE (Nursing Licensure Exam) TAKERS.

CLIQUE

2008-05-30T20:56:00.004+08:00

i just finished THE CLIQUE. the book about, well, normal teenage school life- the good girl, the bitch clique and the bestfriend. nice story but not really the okay - i- have- to- use- my- brain- cells- here type. it has the moral though: DON'T BE WANNABE AND JUST BE YOUR DAMN FUN SELF. it's not a problem here in our country though. just the solid posers you see when you roam around leisure areas like the poser kids wearing an all- black get up: black shirt with a nasty statement, black super skinny pants, black sneakers, black eyeliner, black hair with the uber long side bangs. for short? EMO. i know you agree with me. hahaha!

anyway, another MORE IMPORTANT MORAL is tantanan... true friendship is not all about the same clothes you wear, the gossips you share and money you have for each other BUT the moments you stand up for each other, the times you keep you promise, the instances you turned down any temptation for your buddy's own good.

try reading the book. puro kaartehan. hahaha! pero two thumbs up :)

gawain ng isang batang bored at weird.

2008-05-29T14:12:00.005+08:00

1. "sana ____ ngayon!"

- sana mapunta ako sa malamig na lugar ngayon. haha!

2. "masarap ____ sa kama"

- masarap gumulong sa kama. *roll*

3. "natatakot akong ____"

- natatakot akong makakita ng mumu :(

4. "gusto kong makita at makasama si

____"

- gusto kong makita at makasama si JIRO WANG at WU CHUN dahil baliw na ako sa kanila.

5. "hay, gusto ko nang ____"

- hay, gusto ko nang pumunta sa singapore.

6. "gusto kong kumain ng ____"

- gusto kong kumain ng shawarma na kinakain ko sa saudi arabia. *drooling*

7. "si doraemon ay _____"

- si doraemon ay napakacool na creature.

8. "masarap tumambay sa _____"

- masarap tumambay sa classroom na walang prof.

9. "masayang-masaya ako nung makita ko

si______"

- masayang- masaya ako nung makita ko si nicca (ako) sa salamin na bagong gupit.

10. "mahilig akong _____"

- mahilig akong mang-alaska. hahaha!

11. "ang pinakaweirdong bagay na nagawa

ko ay_______"

- ang pinakaweirdong bagay na nagawa ko ay mangstalk ng isang tao habang bumabagyo. hahaha!

12. "dapat pinagbabawal ang _______"

- dapat pinagbabawal ang pa-ihi ng mga lalaki sa kalye dahil ito ay isang disgusting act.

13. "ang emo ay ______"

- ang emo ay ang mga batang nakikita ko sa mall na itim na itim na parang kulto. SCARY!

14. "ang goth ay _____"

- ang goth ay si amy lee ng evanesence.

15. "ang punk ay ______"

- ang punk ay rock.

16. "si sarah geronimo ay ______"

- si sarah geronimo ay birit ng birit.

17. "si GMA ay_______"

- si GMA ay presidente ng pilipinas.

18. "ang southpark ay _____"

- ang southpark ay cute. haha!

19. "si Barney ay ______"

- si Barney ay baklang dinosaur.

20. "ang pagsabi ng bad words ay _____"

- ang pagsabi ng bad words ay hindi dapat iparinig sa mga batang nilalang.

21. "ang hindi pagtupad sa pangako ay

_____"

- ang hindi pagtupad sa pangako ay nakakagigil at nagpapakita ng pagkawalang kwenta ng isang tao.

22. "kung ako'y isang pagkain, ako ay

isang____"

- kung ako'y isang pagkain, ako ay isang ice crea,, malamig at masarap. hahaha!

23. "gusto kong umapak sa planetang

_____"

- gusto kong umapak sa planetang biyo dahil ito pinangalan sa isang pilipino. YABANG PINOY!

24. "masaya ako kase _____"

- masaya ako kase hindi naman ako malungkuting tao.

25. "dati, ako ay isang ____"

- dati, ako ay isang batang walang pakelam sa mundo.

26. "pero, _____"

- pero, ako ay isang pekeng advocate na ngayon na may linyang SAVE MOTHER EARTH.

27. "kaya, ______"

- kaya, SAVE MOTHER EARTH para sa ikabubuti nating lahat.

28. "aaminin ko na isa akong _______"

- aaminin ko na isa akong weirdong bata. pero hindi ko naman na dapat aminina pa yun dahil alam naman ng lahat yun di ba?

29. "ang pinakamataas kong narating ay

ang______"

- ang pinakamataas kong narating ay ang mga ulap nung sumasakay pa ako ng eroplano.

30. "ang masasabi ko sa aking career

ngayon ay_____"

- ang masasabi ko sa aking career ngayon ay okay lang naman ito. student life...

31. "iboto natin si___ bilang

presidente!"

- iboto natin si ewan bilang presidente.

32. "gusto ko ng _____"

- gusto ko ng isang digicam.

33. "ngayon-ngayon lang, naalala kong

______"

- ngayon- ngayon lang, naalala kong dapat na ako magluto ng miryenda. babay!

aww... as in BIG AWWWWWW!

2008-05-28T20:00:00.006+08:00

i just finished watching KASAL KASALI KASALO. and it's just sooo touching. hahaha! i know how loser i am for watching it just so recently. thanks to cinema 1. heehee.

after watching it i felt really... nervous? no. ah, skeptical... towards guys. duh! nambabae kaya si ryan don! grrr! you know what's in my mind right now? WHAT IF i'm ryan's wife (yeah, i wish. haha) , how would i respond to such situation? being nicca danisse, i won't humiliate my husband in front of many people. but i want them to feel my RAGE! bwa-ha-ha-ha!

now now, my real point is why do guys look for other girls if they already got one? come on! they court, propose and decide to have that one and only girl to be a permanent chapter in their lives. A GUY LIKE THAT IS TOTAL A-HOLE! hindi naman natin sila pinipilit di ba? *my blood pressure is going up.* seriously... when will they ever learn?

MORAL OF THE MOVIE: look for a guy who will love you as who you are. and will keep the vow that you would be the one and only girl in his life- even if you get fat and ugly in the course of pregnancy, even if you gain wrinkles on your face, even if your neighbor is the sexiest and hottest woman in town (haha). look for a man who will love you completely, truly. and yeah, i hope there are guys like this.

ADDICTED

2008-05-27T23:19:00.002+08:00

i am drifting off...

it's giving me the high feeling.
the happiness.
the 'heaven'.
i am so crazy.
so addicted.

yes! i am. i am not into drugs people. i've just finished HANA KIMI and watching it again on TV. how addicted is that? and i've realized how cute they are. the boys i mean. BRIAN and WESLEY. i know, i am the typical teenage girl who goes gaga over chinky-eyed, fancy hairstyled, asian hotties. my guy friends are really annoyed with such behavior so i am really sorry cos i can't help it. hahahaha! if ever they are reading this right now... i come in peace and forgive me cos lately, i've been spending my internet time surfing fansites of wu chun and jiro wang. so fanatic of me,eh? i've learned just recently that the guys i'm eyeing right now are members of a boy group- the backstreet boys type. and yeah, they good-looking mammals. and they sing really well.

and through my research, i've learned that wu chun is also into blogging. how cute of him right? because i am such a huge fan of him, i linked his blog. go and check my sidebar for it. ha-ha!

i am getting more and more addicted!!! just looking at their photos makes my day. OA ako. hahaha! okay, bye. i've got to watch a video of them. (grabe ako no?) BYE!

PS. i've realized that the image is the largest photo in my blog so far. hahaha! and sorry. i ranted like a real addict. BECAUSE I AM! hahaha!

OH NO! IT BROKE MY HEART!!!

2008-05-25T21:03:00.002+08:00

oh yeah... i've just learned very recently that they are already married and one week has passed already! and based on that picture they had a FANTASY WEDDING. they reall good look together, i admit it. but my heart is just full of bitterness right now. (that's a joke, okay?)

PETE!!! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?

THIS IS JUST SO UNFAIR!

2008-05-24T22:07:00.005+08:00

we just had our before-school shopping today. and guess what? NAGMAHAL NA LAHAT NG BILIHIN NGAYON! my younger sister's shoes costs 1,500 and my brother's costs 2,500... dati? 500 may pair of shoes na ko. grrrraaaabbbbeee. it's just so sad. i am not an expert on this but isn't it that when the value of peso goes up, the price of supplies must somehow go down? well... i don't know but it's my idea. i hope my Economics teacher gave me the right impression about it. haha!

THIS IS JUST SO UNFAIR!

we then went to the bookstore to buy school supplies... price of notebooks went up too! 42 pesos for 80 leaves?! well, yeah... the quality is good but don't you think it's still too expensive? i think they must use recycled papers instead for a cheaper, good- quality notebook. it may be good for the patrons' pockets and for Mother Earth--- because we are not only experiencing price hike but GLOBAL WARMING too. i was touched when i saw this recycled cover of a notebook which is a project of Bantay Kalikasan. i am grateful that there are still concerned citizens...

and yeah, even the meal we ate increased 2 php on its price. WHAT'S HAPPENING TO THE WORLD? UNFAIR!!!